“Sometimes I wonder,” Merlin declared, licking a bit of mustard off his upper lip, “where exactly does the food come from? Is there a fourth dimension where a magic hat goes to fetch it? Or does it simply summon turkeys and bread out of thin air? In which case, what is this sandwich really made of?”

Forty eyes gaped at him.

“Merlin,” said Lancelot, simmering, “it’s clear we’re headed straight for the Stymph Forest, otherwise you would have turned us east hours ago. Is there a reason we’re going there instead of the school?”

“Certainly,” said Merlin, digging in his hat for a toothpick.

He didn’t elaborate.

“So? What is it?” Peter Pan snapped.

“The Stymph Forest is where the School Master plans to attack us, of course,” said Merlin, as he picked his teeth. “Shall we have some coffee? Though twenty mugs of it is a bit much to ask, given all of you are no doubt fussy about how you take your milk and sug—”

“Merlin, for God’s sakes!” growled Jack.

“When I said, ‘Leave the plan to me,’ I meant it,” the wizard retorted. “All of you have enough to worry about without the intricacies of war: a war that will be all for naught if even one of our most famous heroes dies. The shield over the Readers is almost broken now. Peter, Cinderella, Jack, Sleeping Beauty, Red Riding Hood, Hansel, Gretel, Pinocchio—you are all that’s left between the School Master and the end of Good as we know it. So let me worry about the battle plan while you and your young lieges worry about how to keep all of you alive.”

Tedros gave Agatha a sharp look, questioning whether leaving the plan to Merlin sounded as faulty to her as it did to him.

Agatha cleared her throat. “Merlin, you just said you’re taking us into the Stymph Forest because the School Master will attack us there. Given the School Master controls the Stymph Forest, don’t you think that warrants some details?”

“Details?” Merlin asked, pursing his lips. “How’s this. The School Master plans to ambush us with the old villains before we get to school. Given I know this before it happens, I had to choose where I want this ambush to take place. The Stymph Forest seemed the best option.”

Rumbles rolled through his audience.

“He’s finally lost it,” Tedros mumbled to Agatha.

“Merlin, first off, the Stymph Forest is the worst place we can go if it’s under the School Master’s control—” Lancelot snorted.

“Forget the stymphs,” Hester jumped in. “He’s ambushing us? With two hundred zombie villains?”

“How would wizard even know they ambush us?” Hansel scoffed.

“For once Hansel is right,” Gretel agreed. “‘Ambush’ means attack with surprise, so if there is no surprise, then there is no ambush—”

“What’s surprising to me is that our future queen is worried about me,” Merlin boomed, eyes still on Agatha, “when she is the one ultimately responsible for winning this war and yet has no idea how to make Sophie destroy her ring.”