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Chapters (36)
  1. The Last Dragonslayer
  2. Copyright
  3. Dedication
  4. Practical Magic
  5. Tiger Prawns
  6. Zambini Towers
  7. About the Mystical Arts
  8. The Magiclysm
  9. Mother Zenobia
  10. The Dragon Question
  11. Patrick and the Childcatcher
  12. Norton and Villiers
  13. Mutiny
  14. William of Anorak
  15. Brian Spalding – Last Dragonslayer
  16. The Dragonlands
  17. Maltcassion
  18. Gordon van Gordon
  19. The Truth about Mr Zambini
  20. Big Magic
  21. His Majesty King Snodd IV
  22. Yogi Baird
  23. Foundling Trouble
  24. The Duke of Brecon
  25. Dragon Attack
  26. Mr Hawker
  27. Maltcassion again
  28. Sir Matt Grifflon
  29. Escape from Zambini Towers
  30. Back to the Dragonlands
  31. Noon
  32. Anger
  33. The New Order
  34. The End of the Story
  35. About the Author
  36. Also by Jasper Fforde

This was worrying. Patrick of Ludlow was a Mover. Although not possessed of the sharpest mind, he was kind and gentle and exceptionally gifted at levitation, and earned a regular wage for Kazam by removing illegally parked cars for the city’s clamping unit. It took a lot of effort – he would sleep fourteen hours in twenty-four – and the marzipan echoed back to a darker time in his life that he didn’t care to speak of.

‘So what’s up?’

‘The Sisterhood sent round your replacement. What do you want me to do with him?’

I’d forgotten all about him. The Sisterhood traditionally supplied Kazam with a foundling every five years. Sharon Zoiks had been the fourth, I had been the sixth, and this new one would be the seventh. We didn’t talk about the fifth.

‘Pop him in a taxi and send him up. No, cancel that. It’ll be too expensive. Ask Nasil to carpet him up. Usual precautions. Cardboard box, yes?’

‘Usual precautions,’ replied Perkins, and hung up.

I watched the three sorcerers stare at the house from every direction, apparently doing nothing. I knew better than to ask them what was going on or how they were doing. A moment’s distraction could unravel a spell in a twinkling. Moobin and Price were dressed casually and without any metal for fear of burns, but Lady Mawgon was in traditional garb. She wore long black crinolines that rustled like leaves when she walked, and sparkled like distant fireworks in the darkness. During the Kingdom’s frequent power cuts, I could always tell when it was she gliding down one of Zambini Tower’s endless corridors. Once, in a daring moment, someone had pinned some stars and a moon cut from silver foil to her black dress, something that sent her incandescent with rage. She ranted on at Mr Zambini for almost twenty minutes about how ‘no one was taking their calling seriously’ and how could she ‘be expected to work with such infantile nincompoops’. Zambini spoke to everyone in turn, but he probably found it as funny as the rest of us. We never discovered who did it, but I reckoned it was Full Price’s smaller twin, Half. He once turned the local cats blue for a joke, which backfired badly when the cops got involved.