MURDAC. A soft summer.

JOAN. I thought he was joking, he told me he’d be holding his parliament in a garden and I laughed…

As the Stewart brothers finish meat, they throw the bones over their shoulders. MEG has seen this. She is outraged.

But he said there were no halls in Scotland large enough to hold the whole assembly, so…

ISABELLA (cutting her off). We don’t need any.

JOAN. Sorry?

ISABELLA. There’s no need to call the whole assembly. We don’t need to ask every little lord how to go on. We don’t need to be taking some abbot’s advice. The families can run things. They’ve been doing that just fine.

MURDAC. Since when did you sit in the Three Estates, woman?

ISABELLA. I’m just saying.

(Smiles at JOAN.) Lovely chicken, pet.

MURDAC. This is new for all of us. These are the first parliaments that have been called for forty years.

JOAN. I do hope your accommodation is satisfactory. I didn’t realise so many of the families would be housed in… tents.

ISABELLA. It’s our own tent. It’s what we use for war.

JOAN. Sorry?

ISABELLA. To sleep before a battle? It’s a good big tent. Warm too. We’re better in that than the spare rooms in Falkland Palace, there was only ever one room warm in that place and you’re in that, eh?

JOAN. Yes, I…

ISABELLA. I had that fireplace made bigger. I hope you’re getting the benefit?

JOAN. Yes, it’s very… cosy.

ISABELLA. Good.

BALVENIE. We’re waiting on the mutton ribs down this end if you’re done with them, boys…

STEWART BROTHERS. We’re not.

ISABELLA (to JOAN). Any more of this good French red?

She holds out her glass. JOAN is really embarrassed.

JOAN. No… no… We couldn’t buy…

There’s ale.

ISABELLA. My cleaning wifie drinks ale, I’m on the red.

JOAN. There’s no more.

ISABELLA. You didn’t buy any more of the French red?

Couldn’t afford it, I suppose.

(Laughs.) Hear that, Murdac? The King’s so broke he can’t even buy us a glass of wine! Never mind, pet. Shall I treat you? We’ve got plenty in our tent…

MEG has got up and is behind the Stewart brothers, she’s been waiting for the next bone to come over. When it does she grabs it and hits BIG JAMES over the head with it.

MEG. Where were you raised!? In a midden!?

(To ISABELLA.) Is this the way you raised them?

ISABELLA. What are they doing?

MEG. Chucking their bones on the floor!

ISABELLA. What!?

MEG. Aye! Did you not see them? Throwing their bones on the ground like a pack of great smelly bears that don’t know how to use a plate!

ISABELLA (shocked). Boys!

WALTER points at JOAN.

WALTER. She’s doing it!

JOAN. It’s just a chicken bone…

MEG. Oh, that’s just wonderful! That’s a great example to be setting, isn’t it? That’s how they do it in England, is it? Throw their chicken bones on the ground for the dogs to choke themselves on? Have you any sense? And you fretting yourself sick about money.