(To the Stewart brothers.) Well, she comes from a heathen country where they’ve got servants running round like ants clearing up after them, and all their big lords and ladies never think the servants have eyes and ears and they never know their names half the time. Here there’s just me and here we need the bones for the soup tomorrow. So leave them on your bloody plates!

BIG JAMES. I bet you make great soup.

MEG. I’ll make it out of your head if you don’t behave.

BIG JAMES. I could marry you.

MEG. You could sit on the church roof and wait for a pigeon to lay a golden egg in your pocket but I wouldn’t rate your chances of that either.

JAMES comes in.

JOAN. Oh, where have you been!?

(Checks herself.) I’m sorry, my lord. We waited for you but your guests were hungry.

JAMES. Of course.

There was a petition…

I was called to see this woman.

JOAN. Well, why did you go?

JAMES (he’s distracted). Sorry?

JOAN. Don’t we have servants? To meet your petitioners?

JAMES. I saw her…

I had to talk to her. It was important.

JOAN. What was?

JAMES. Not now. Not here.

He is watching the Stewart brothers.

JOAN. Of course. Excuse me, my lord.

Forgive me.

JAMES (suddenly alert to her). Are you upset?

JOAN. There’s no more wine.

JAMES. You want wine? Why doesn’t someone get you some wine?

ISABELLA. I’ve been trying.

JOAN. We’ve only beer left.

JAMES. I’ll drink beer. I like beer.

MURDAC serves him.

MURDAC. Nothing wrong with beer, it’s an honest drink.

JOAN. And we’ve hardly any flour, I’ve had them count the flour sacks. If you want to feed your whole parliament till the end of the week we need more bread. I’ve sent to the mill. Cheese we’re alright, we’re out the door with cheese but some of it’s on the turn, we can cook it or we can feed it to the common folk.

JAMES. I’m sure it will all be…

ISABELLA. I can get you more meat if you’re needing some…

JOAN (cuts her off, icy and cutting). I’m so sorry, Lady Isabella, is the food not to your liking?

ISABELLA. No, pet, what you’ve put out is fine I’m just… JOAN (driving over her again). I’m just trying to organise my own household. I’m sure you understand. You’ll have to excuse me. You’ll have my attention again in a moment I promise you.

A pie is brought in and placed on the table. The Stewart boys roar in delight and all start trying to cut into it.

BALVENIE. Could you pass that down, boys, do you think?

They ignore him.

JAMES. What do you need, Joan?

JOAN. Oh, don’t talk to me. Just don’t talk to me!

Pass me the pickled onions.

JAMES. Don’t you want some more meat? You’ve barely eaten…

JOAN. Just give them to me.

She takes some onions and starts to exit, JAMES gets up from the table and stops her.