Felix is still standing next to her, and she wishes he would move, but then, her old master has never done what she wanted. “Another overpayment,” he says. “What am I to make of you throwing all this money at me?”

“I don’t like being in debt to you,” she replies, folding her arms, trying to hide the fact that his close proximity frightens her. He takes a step closer. “Don’t.” She doesn’t dare raise her voice. The thought of Philos next door, ready to spring to her defense, sets her even more on edge. To her amazement, Felix stops where he is. The expression on his face, if she did not know him so well, might be mistaken for embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean to threaten you last time.”

For a moment, Amara can only gape at him. “What?”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m not going to apologize. I didn’t mean to threaten you.” Felix smacks his palm down on the desk, making her jump. “It’s not fucking hard to understand what I’m saying.”

“You’ve never done anything but threaten me,” Amara says, still incredulous. “Right from the first day I met you.”

“What if I said I wouldn’t anymore?”

“You’d be lying.”

Felix runs a hand through his carefully slicked-back hair, another wholly unfamiliar gesture. It makes him look insecure. “You think I’m such a fucking monster.”

“You are a fucking monster,” she retorts, finding his contrition unexpectedly painful. “You’ve never given a shit about hurting me, or anyone else. There have been times I thought you might even kill me.”

“I’d never have done that.”

“No, because it would have cost you too much fucking money!” Amara shouts. To her dismay, she is dangerously close to tears. Felix reaches out to touch her, and she flinches away. “Don’t!”

Felix clenches his fists, and she can see he is struggling to control his temper. “You’ve always known how to provoke me.”

“Breathing provokes you. You’ve never needed an excuse to hit anyone.”

“You act like I did nothing but hurt you. What about all the times you worked up here on my accounts, when I helped you start lending money? What about that night you stayed with me? For a whore, you were always terrible at sex, completely unable to pretend you liked it, so I can’t believe you suddenly acquired the ability to smile like that at a man if you hated him.”

Amara knows exactly which night he is referring to, and even worse, the crushing shame of the morning after. It was when she had decided to feel nothing but loathing for Felix, because loving him would destroy her. “It’s too late for this.”