Chapters (57)
For the last few years, she could have told you off the top of her head what day of her cycle she was on. Now she realized that she’d lost track of it during the commotion about the house. Should she have had her period by now? She counted back. It had been at least a month. She felt a slight flutter of hope, but she tried to tamp it down. It was the stress, she told herself, messing with her cycle. She and Ted hadn’t exactly been in the mood very often this month. Was it even possible?
There was only one way to know. She left the shampoo on the shelf and picked up a pregnancy test from the family planning aisle.
Back in the apartment, she went through the familiar motions. There was no way she was pregnant, she thought as she waited for the test. She hadn’t done any of the things that she was supposed to do. She’d been sleeping terribly, and she’d been drinking coffee and the occasional glass of wine. She hadn’t meditated. She’d been eating greasy takeout instead of the fertility blogosphere−approved diet of avocados, lentils, and salmon. And yet she felt a spark of hope. What if this was it? It didn’t matter, suddenly, that they were starting over with the house, and money was tight, and Ted had been in a bad mood for weeks. None of that would mean anything if they were finally going to have a baby. She was so lost in thought that when the timer on her phone went off, she almost screamed.
She picked up the test and looked at it.
There, on the white applicator, were two lines. The second one was faint, but it was there.
Had she jiggled it too much? Could the color have bled from the control line? She put the test back on the sink and pulled out the instructions with trembling hands. In her nervousness, it took her a moment to find the ones in English. But there they were, next to a picture that looked just like her results: “A faint line on the pregnancy test indicates a positive result.”
A tingle of adrenaline ran through her body. At first, she was cautious. She had performed the same series of actions dozens of times, always with the same result. This was an anomaly; it must be a mistake. She looked at the test again. The line was growing stronger. She felt annoyed that she hadn’t bought one of the value packs while she was at the drugstore. Of course, she hadn’t thought she would actually be pregnant. But as soon as she had the thought, she knew it was true, and she said it aloud.
“I’m having a baby.”