I let an awful howl out of me for now I was out of the water I felt the cold biting into me, eating my fingers and my toes. And for her, I howled and cried for Esther, for she was my sister, even though I’d only known her a lock of days. She was my sister, the only one I ever had, and now she was gone. All because of him.

Jesus, says Daddy Tam, Jesus Christ.

I looked up at him and he had water in his eyes. He must have seen the hate in me. It was so big and so hot there couldn’t be any hiding it. Not from anyone.

He guldered at me, It was her own fault! No one made her run away. Both of you did it. It’s your fault as much as hers. No one made you do it.

I nearly shouted back at him, telt him to shut his stupid, dirty auld mouth, but before I could, he lifted the rifle to his shoulder and aimed it at me.

Says he, I should’ve done this long ago.

I mind he was awful still and calm all of a sudden. I know rightly he was going to do it. It wasn’t something he’d just took a notion of. He’d had it in his head to do it already.

There was times before that when I might’ve thought it’d be all right to die. I’d be away from that place, at least. But now the rifle was pointing at my head and I’d seen what it did to Esther, I didn’t want that. I wanted to live.

He worked a lever or a bolt on the side of the rifle, back and down, up and forwards. I ducked my head down, put my hands over it as if they could stop the bullet. The grass was wet agin my face and it went in my mouth as I begged him, No, no, no, please don’t.

I begged and I waited for the bullet.

But it didn’t come. Daddy George came. I heard him shout from up the bank, Don’t!

It needs doing, says Daddy Tam.

You shoot that child, says Daddy George, I’ll shoot you.

Will you, now?

Aye, I will.

I lifted my head and looked up.

Daddy Tam still pointed the rifle at me, and up at the top of the bank, there was Daddy George. He had the policeman’s gun in his hand and he aimed it at Daddy Tam. I near telt him to shoot, to blow that auld bastard’s brains all over the water, but I helt my whisht.

Says Daddy Tam, I shoot this child, you shoot me, then our da kills you.

Not if I do him first, says Daddy George.