“I don’t know,” Sara said. “I hope so. With everything that happened there, you still want to go back?”

“It’s my home. It’s the only one I ever had. And the children need me. Did they find you yet?”

“Yes,” Sara said, “they did.”

“What about Esther?”

Sara pictured a girl with scarlet ribbons clutched to her belly.

“Yes,” she said. “Her too.”

Mary nodded, seemed satisfied at that. “I won’t be here forever. They’ll need you when I’m gone.”

“Who are they?” Sara asked.

“They’re my brothers and sisters,” Mary said. “All of them. And they’re your brothers and sisters now, so I suppose that means you’re my sister, too.”

She took Sara’s free hand and squeezed it tight.

“Tell me what happened at the house,” Sara said. “I want to know. When this is all over, I’ll make sure I get the house. Damien can fight me for it in court and I’ll tell them everything.”

Mary nodded along as if she knew what Sara was talking about.

“If I’m going to go back there when it’s is all over, if I’m going to live there, then I need to know.”

Mary lifted a fistful of sand with her free hand, let it run through her fingers. She watched the grains fall and drift, wonder on her face.

“I never telt anyone,” she said. “No one who’d listen, anyway.”

“I’m listening,” Sara said.

Mary looked out to sea, its greys and blues reflected in her glittering eyes.

“Maybe it’s time,” she said.

Then she nodded, exhaled, a decision made.

“Aye, it’s time.”

She took a long breath.

“Here, now, till I tell you . . .”

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

This has been the most difficult book of my career to date, and it wouldn’t exist without the help of the people around me. I owe them my heartfelt gratitude.

As ever, my deepest thanks go to my agents, Nat Sobel and Judith Weber, and all at Sobel Weber Associates, and Caspian Dennis and all at Abner Stein Ltd. They have guided me through some of my most trying years as a writer.

Bronwen Hruska, Juliet Grames and Paul Oliver at Soho Press have shown patience and kindness far beyond that which could be expected of any publisher, as well as friendship, for which I am eternally thankful. And also Katherine Armstrong, who helped me get this book over the line, as well as Kate Parkin, Ben Willis, Ciara Corrigan and all at Bonnier Zaffre. And Victoria Woodside, whose sharp eye has saved me from multiple embarrassments.

The book Regulating Sexuality: Women in Twentieth-Century Northern Ireland by Dr. Leanne McCormick was very helpful in providing a contextual backdrop for portions of this novel.

A special thanks to those women who, with great courage, shared their experiences of domestic violence.