I felt the bullet hit her. Go into her and out of her again. I felt it through her hand. I mind she stood for a moment, terrible still, and then she leaned back in the water like she wanted to swim there. And she floated, the river pulling her away from me. But I helt onto her. I don’t know for why, but I knew I had to keep a holt of her. Even when the water lifted me off my feet, I couldn’t let her go.

My toes hardly touched the bottom, but I pushed agin the stones, pushed and pushed until I could stand. I pulled on Esther’s hand, brought her close to me, and I could see her eyes. And she was looking back at me. She was still there. And I felt a happiness in me like I never felt before. I thought, they can save her. They have bandages and medicines for the cattle, they can use them on her, and they can save her. So I pulled her towards the bank, but it was awful hard, the river trying to pull agin me, pulling her away.

Daddy Tam came to the edge of the bank, his feet splashing in the water, and he hunkered down and reached out for me.

Says he, Bring her to me.

I tried hard as I could but every time I took a step closer, the water pushed me further away. I reached and I reached, my arm and my fingers stretching as hard as I could, so hard it hurt, but I couldn’t do it. Daddy Tam lifted the rifle and helt it by the thick end. He reached it out to me so I could grab the thin end, where the bullet come from. It was hard in my hand, and hot. I mind there was still a lick of smoke coming from it.

He pulled me in until I could stand and walk, still dragging Esther behind me. He took her hand from mine and pushed me onto the bank, then he gave a big pull and she came up onto the grass beside me. I stayed down on my knees, coughing and shivering. Esther stared up at the sky, not blinking at all. I put my hand on her cheek and I looked down into her eyes and knew then she couldn’t see me. She couldn’t see anything at all. And I saw the hole in her belly, and I saw the inside of her, and I realised there was no saving her. No bandage nor medicine would fix her.