I couldn’t ignore the time, the seconds ticking like a countdown. Even on fire, I could feel them dragging at me, sucking me down the dark corridor. Taking me away from all this heat and feeling.

I managed to pull my lips away from his. We panted in the dark, our breath warm on each other’s faces.

“Thank you,” I said again.

“Wait…”

“I can’t. I can’t… bear any more. Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered.

“I just want one more thing. Let me do this alone. Please?”

“If… if you’re sure that’s what you want…” He trailed off, unsure.

“It’s what I need, Jared.”

“Then I’ll stay here,” he said hoarsely.

“I’ll send Doc to get you when it’s over.”

His arms were still locked around me.

“You know that Ian is going to try to kill me for letting you do this? Maybe I should let him. And Jamie. He’ll never forgive either of us.”

“I can’t think about them right now. Please. Let me go.”

Slowly, with a palpable reluctance that warmed some of the cold emptiness in the center of my body, Jared let his arms slide away.

“I love you, Wanda.”

I sighed. “Thanks, Jared. You know how much I love you. With my whole heart.”

Heart and soul. Not the same thing, in my case. I’d been divided too long. It was time to make something whole again, make a whole person. Even if that excluded me.

The ticking seconds pulled me toward the end. It was cold when he no longer held me. It got colder every step I took away from him.

Just my imagination, of course. It was still summer here. It would always be summer here for me.

“What happens here when it rains, Jared?” I whispered. “Where do people sleep?”

It took him a moment to answer, and I could hear tears in his voice. “We…” He swallowed. “We all move into the game room. Everyone sleeps in there together.”

I nodded to myself. I wondered what the atmosphere would be like. Awkward, with all the conflicting personalities? Or was it fun? A change? Like a slumber party?

“Why?” he whispered.

“I just wanted to… imagine. How it will be.” Life and love would go on. Even though it would happen without me, the idea brought me joy. “Goodbye, Jared. Mel says she’ll see you soon.”

Liar.

“Wait… Wanda…”

I hurried down the tunnel, hurried away from any chance that he might, with his grateful lies, convince me not to go. There was only silence behind me.

His pain did not hurt me the way Ian’s had. For Jared, pain would be over soon. Joy was only minutes away. The happy ending.

The southern tunnel felt only a few yards long. I could see the bright lantern burning ahead, and I knew Doc was waiting for me.