I didn’t know why I had yearned after it so desperately. All I knew was that, now that I had it, it was worth every ounce of risk and agony it had cost. It was better than I’d imagined.

It was everything.

By the time the food was prepared and consumed, the late—or rather early—hour had gotten to us all. People stumbled out of the crowded room toward their beds. As they left, there was more space.

Those remaining slouched down where we were as room became available. Gradually, we melted in place until we were horizontal. My head ended up pillowed on Jared’s stomach; his hand stroked my hair now and then. Jamie’s face was against my chest, and his arms were around my neck. One of my arms wrapped around his shoulders. Ian’s head was cushioned on my stomach, and he held my other hand to his face. I could feel Doc’s long leg stretched beside mine, his shoe by my hip. Doc was asleep—I could hear him snoring. I may have even been touching Kyle somewhere.

Jeb was sprawled on the bed. He belched, and Kyle chuckled.

“Nicer night than I was plannin’ for. I like it when pessimism goes unrewarded,” Jeb mused. “Thanks, Wanda.”

“Mmm,” I sighed, half asleep.

“Next time she raids…” Kyle said, somewhere on the other side of Jared’s body. A big yawn interrupted his sentence. “Next time she raids, I’m coming, too.”

“She’s not going out again,” Ian answered, his body tensing. I brushed my hand against his face, trying to soothe him.

“Of course not,” I murmured to him. “I don’t have to go anywhere unless I’m needed. I don’t mind staying in here.”

“I’m not talking about keeping you prisoner, Wanda,” Ian explained, irritated. “You can go anywhere you want as far as I’m concerned. Jogging on the highway, if you’d like that. But not a raid. I’m talking about keeping you safe.”

“We need her,” Jared said, his voice harder than I wanted to hear it.

“We got by fine without her before.”

“Fine? Jamie would have died without her. She can get things for us that no one else can.”

“She’s a person, Jared, not a tool.”

“I know that. I didn’t say that —”

“’S up to Wanda, I’d say.” Jeb interrupted the argument just as I was about to. My hand was holding Ian down now, and I could feel Jared’s body shifting under my head as he prepared to get up. Jeb’s words froze them in place.

“You can’t leave it up to her, Jeb,” Ian protested.

“Why not? Seems like she’s got her own mind. ’S it your job to make decisions for her?”

“I’ll tell you why not,” Ian grumbled. “Wanda?”

“Yes, Ian?”

“Do you want to go out on raids?”