I realized why it was so easy to lie to these gentle creatures. Because it felt right to talk with them, because I understood their communication and their rules. The lies could be… maybe should be true. I should be filling a Calling somewhere, whether teaching at a university or serving food in a restaurant. A peaceful, easy life contributing to a greater good.

“What do you think?” the Healer asked.

“I look perfect. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure to heal you.”

I looked at myself again, seeing details beyond the perfection. My hair was ragged—dirty, with uneven ends. There was no gloss to it—homemade soap and poor nutrition were to blame for that. Though the Healer had cleaned the blood from my neck, it was still smudged with purple dust.

“I think it’s time I called the camping trip quits. I need to clean up,” I murmured.

“Do you camp often?”

“In all my free time, lately. I… can’t seem to keep away from the desert.”

“You must be brave. I find the city much more comfortable.”

“Not brave—just different.”

In the mirror, my eyes were familiar rings of hazel. Dark gray on the outside, a circle of moss green, and then another circle of caramel brown around the pupil. Underlying it all, a faint shimmer of silver that would reflect the light, magnify it.

Jamie? Mel asked urgently, beginning to feel nervous. I was too comfortable here. She could see the logic of the other path laid out before me, and that frightened her.

I know who I am, I told her.

I blinked, then looked back at the friendly faces beside me.

“Thank you,” I said again to the Healer. “I suppose I’d better be on my way.”

“It’s very late. You could sleep here if you’d like.”

“I’m not tired. I feel… perfect.”

The Healer grinned. “No Pain does that.”

Cerulean walked me to the reception area. She put her hand on my shoulder as I stepped through the door.

My heart beat faster. Had she noticed that my pack, once flat, was now bulging?

“Be more careful, dear,” she said, and patted my arm.

“I will. No more hikes in the dark.”

She smiled and went back to her desk.

I kept my pace even as I walked through the parking lot. I wanted to run. What if the Healer looked in her cabinets? How soon would she realize why they were half empty?

The car was still there, in the pocket of darkness created by a gap between streetlights. It looked empty. My breath came fast and uneven. Of course it should look empty. That was the whole point. But my lungs didn’t calm until I could glimpse the vague shape under the blanket on the backseat.