Christopher As many as turn up, I suppose.

Richard (to David) He keeps lapsing into these Irish idioms. (to Christopher) These people are your tenants, aren’t they?

Christopher Some of them, yes. Perhaps all of them.

Richard They are or they are not?

Christopher That depends on who volunteers, doesn’t it? (Laughs.) If anybody does.

Richard And when can we expect them?

Christopher They were told to be here at three o’clock. But – bless them – they’re very cavalier about that kind of discipline.

Richard So some few – who may or may not be your tenants – may or may not present themselves, but at a time we can’t determine, can we? That’s all for now, Perkins. We may or may not need you presently.

Perkins May or may not, Sir. (softly. to Sally) Your shortbread is breathtaking.

Sally Say that again – quickly.

Perkins Your shortbreath is bread – your short –

Sally Good try.

Perkins exits.

Christopher You’re becoming a martinet, Dick.

Richard And you’re going native. Next thing you’ll marry an Irish woman and whatever is still Kentish in you will be extinguished. (to David) Up to you to see that doesn’t happen.

Christopher Or perhaps the very lucky Irish woman will become a little Kentish.

Richard You’re being flippant; but that can happen. Last season I was at an archery meeting in Kilkenny and the South Mayo Agricultural Show. And at both events the upper Irish classes there had lighter-coloured hair and lighter-coloured eyes than the lower Irish classes. And why? A generous infusion of English blood into the new landed classes and the new professional classes – people who were mere cotters or tribesmen a few generations back.

Christopher You mean they were uglier then?

Richard I’m talking about evolution working progressively for once.

Christopher I’m not rising to that bait.

Richard (innocently, to David) What bait?

David And I’m not getting involved.

Christopher Let me see if any volunteers have arrived. They may be loitering down the avenue. (as he exits right) But then again … (Laughs.)

Richard Pity to see Kent vanish – if he does marry her. Bigger pity though if she were to be diluted. Wouldn’t it?

David Time for a drink, I think. (He goes into the breakfast room.)

Richard A conundrum for you, David. Guess when this was written. ‘There are three races of people in Ireland. There are the Spanish in Kerry and Limerick. They are tall and thin with dark eyes and lank, black hair. There are the Scots in the North; a tribe of angular people with long visage and blue-grey eyes. And there are the people of Norwegian ancestry in County Wexford.’ Well – when?

David (emerging) Sorry?

Richard A hundred years ago! By an English agriculturalist called Young. And he concludes, ‘The rest of the kingdom is made up of mongrels.’

David Us?

Richard But the interesting thing is that Young – who never once measured a head or facial features, never drew up a chart of stature or nigrescence – there he was in 1780 commenting astutely on the physical characteristics of Irish tribes; and then – then deducing from those physical features how those tribes might behave. Have you ever looked closely at the people of Cavan?