Taking a quick breath, I jogged to the back of the church. On the third ring the machine engaged. The outgoing message spewed its spiel, and my face tightened. Nick had recorded it for me—I thought it posh for it to appear that we employed a male secretary. Though now, seeing as we were listed with professionals of another sort, it probably only added to the confusion.

My frown deepened when the outgoing message cut off and Nick’s voice continued. “Hey, Rachel?” he said hesitantly. “Are you there? Pick up if you are. I … I was hoping you’d be home. It’s what, about six there?”

I forced my hand to pick up the phone. He was in a different time zone? “Hi, Nick.”

“Rachel.” The relief was thick in his voice, in stark contrast to my flat tone. “Good. I’m glad I caught you.”

Caught me. Yeah. “How are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice. I was still stinging, hurt and confused.

He took a slow breath. I could hear water in the background and a hiss of something cooking. The soft clink of glasses and the murmur of conversation intruded. “I’m doing okay,” he said. “I’m doing good. I slept really well last night.”

“That’s great.” Why in hell didn’t you tell me ley line practice I was waking you up? You could have been sleeping well here, too.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

My jaw hurt, and I forced my teeth apart. I’m confused. I’m hurt. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what I want. “Fine,” I said, thinking of Kisten. At least I knew what he wanted. “I’m fine.” My throat hurt. “Want me to get your mail, or will you be home soon?”

“I’ve got a neighbor picking it up. But thanks.”

You didn’t answer my question. “Okay. Do you know if you’ll be back by the solstice, or should I give your ticket to … someone else?” I hadn’t meant to hesitate. It just happened. It was obvious Nick had heard it, too, given his silence. A seagull cried in the background. He was on a beach? He was at a bar on a beach and I was dodging black charms in cold slush?

“Why don’t you do that,” he said finally, and I felt as if someone punched me in the gut. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be here.”

“Sure,” I whispered.

“I miss you, Rachel,” he said, and I closed my eyes.

Please don’t say it, I thought. Please.

“But I’m feeling much better. I’ll be home soon.”

It was exactly what Jenks had told me he would say, and my throat closed up. “I miss you, too,” I said, feeling betrayed and lost all over again. He said nothing, and after three heartbeats, I stepped into the breach. “Well, Ivy and I are going shopping. She’s in the car.”

“Oh.” He sounded relieved, the bastard. “I won’t keep you. Um, I’ll talk to you later.”