Since then he’d been his usual self. Almost. There was a sly hesitancy in his touch now, as if he was holding himself to a limit of action to see if I would change it. The unhappy result was the mix of danger and security that I loved in him was gone. Not wanting to interfere in anything Ivy and I might find, he had put me in charge of moving our relationship forward.

I didn’t like being in charge. I liked the heart-pounding rush of being lured into making decisions that might turn bad on me. Realizing as much was depressing. It seemed that Ivy and Jenks were right that not only was I an adrenaline junkie, but I needed a sensation of danger to get turned on.

Thinking about it now, my mood thoroughly soured, I crouched beside my desk, arm extended to try to get the stupid cat to like me. Her neck stretched out and she sniffed my fingers, but wouldn’t bump her head under my hand as she would Ivy’s. Giving up, I stood and headed for the back of the church, following the sound of Kisten’s masculine rumble. I took a breath to call out and tell them I was there, but my feet stilled when I realized they were talking about me.

“Well, you did bite her,” Kisten said, his voice both lightly accusing and coaxing.

“I bit her,” Ivy admitted, her voice a whisper.

“And you didn’t bind her,” he prompted.

“No.” I heard the creak of her chair as she repositioned herself, guilt making her shift.

“She wants to know what comes next,” Kisten said with a rude laugh. “Hell, I want to know myself.”

“Nothing,” Ivy said shortly. “It’s not going to happen again.”

I licked my lips, thinking I should back out of the hallway and come in making more noise, but I couldn’t move, staring at the worn wood by the archway to the living room.

Kisten sighed. “That’s not fair. You strung her along until she called your bluff, and now you won’t go forward, and she can’t go back. Look at her,” he said, and I imagined him gesturing at nothing. “She wants to find a blood balance. God, Ivy, isn’t that what you wanted?”

Ivy’s breath came harsh. “I could have killed her!” she exclaimed, and I jumped. “I lost control just like always and almost killed her. She let me do it because she trusted me.” Her words were now muffled. “She understood everything and she didn’t stop me.”

“You’re scared,” Kisten accused, and my eyes widened at his gall.

But Ivy took it in stride as she laughed sarcastically. “You think?”

“No,” he insisted, “I mean you’re scared. You’re afraid to try to find a balance you can both live with, because if you try and can’t, she leaves and you’ve got nothing.”