He pressed himself against her, the length of him bearing into her with an almost menacing intensity.

“Why are you doing it?” she breathed, setting the glass down and leaning against the counter for support.

In lieu of answering her question, his hands moved upward along the taut softness of her stomach, beneath her shirt and to her breasts, a quiet moan escaping him when they were finally resting in his elegant grasp.

“Do you know,” he continued, lips brushing her ears, “how long I’ve dreamed of touching you like this?”

There were so few ways in which Alex felt good about herself at this moment, so little relief from her constant disappointing of the people she loved, that to have this man want her in any way was a beautiful gift. She knew that indulging in it would be bad for both of them in the long term—and she suspected he did, too—but the temptation was too sweet to refuse, a bandage that could cover so many unrelated wounds, at least for the time being.

“No.” She smiled, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch, the back of her head resting on the crook of his neck. “Tell me.”

He took a moment to answer, considering the request before responding.

“I used to fantasize about it for hours every time we saw each other in school—I never got any work done if I was seeing you that day.” His words were almost mournful with desire.

“And yesterday?” she pressed on, her grin spreading across her face as she brought her own hands up to encourage him.

“I told you I wouldn’t be able to sleep until we finished what we started, and I haven’t. Not for one second.”

She met his eyes in the mirror, silently affirming their mutual, inescapable need. And he feasted his hands upon her, soft sounds of pleasure escaping his beautiful lips as he finally explored the reality of her body. She knew he was experiencing her as his younger self, because she was, too. In some ways, she would always view him like this, with the giddy recklessness of a girl finally alone with her crush. But as if stricken by an outside force, he suddenly stopped, taking one last, deep inhale from the tangle of her hair before pulling back entirely.

“Look at me.” He placed a firm hand on her waist and turned her to face him, close enough to nearly touch his nose to her own.

“I’m looking.” Her legs felt weak beneath her body, gelatinous under his exquisite hands.

He steadied his breathing, eyes searching hers for a moment before continuing.

“We can’t be together. In a relationship, I mean.”