“Maybe. But it’s not like I’m beating myself up these days because of her. Not exactly. I love her, and I miss her, but she’d cry if she saw me cry, so I’ve done my best to get past it a bit. I think.” She mumbled the last two words and then took another long drink.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Lucas asked. “Why the charade? Am I only doing this quest for you because you’re trying to give me something to do?”

“You’re doing this quest because I lose my job if you don’t—the job sis helped me get a week before she passed. She used that company of yours to pull some strings and get me in. She was so excited when she did, so now the job has become another piece of her I don’t want to screw up and lose. As for the charade, it wasn’t really meant to be one. It was just . . . Well, you were talking to me again, ya know?”

A needle of guilt shot through him. “Sorry,” he said, hiding his face for a second behind the beer bottle.

“It’s fine. But I thought it was weird that you never asked me once why I had her face when we first met. You just started chatting with me, opening up and talking, and it was nice. It was something I thought I’d never get again after you gave me that ice-cold shoulder at the funeral and ignored my calls. I needed someone to talk to as well.”

“Sorry,” he repeated.

“Well, me too, but that’s that. It’s over, and here we are. Even if it kills us to do it, we need to move on. For her.” She held up the bottle, offering a mock toast.

“For Yu Hua.” Lucas agreed, raising his as well. For some reason, he felt robbed by the conversation. He wanted to be angry at her for tricking him, for misleading him and then pulling him around by the nose, but he had ended up sympathizing with her instead. He felt like he had been the one who had driven her off the plank with her hands tied, and she had just done everything she could to stay afloat and tread water.

“Now, that’s the spirit,” Liu said, showing Lucas a forced smile. “So, you gonna hook up with the horny bondage fox or not?”

Lucas immediately rejected her idea. “Still not,” he answered. Even if he knew that Liu was right on an intellectual level, that he needed to move on with his life, it didn’t make it any easier to do so. Whether he wanted to or not, he knew that was what he needed to do. He was going to have to move slowly, and he was going to have to do his best not to beat himself up. “This still isn’t right, you know?”