“Of course,” Linnaeus chirped. “That sounds wonderful. Here, I’ll extract them for us. I have experience in the matter.” The primate picked up Fiddle’s body by the throat as if it were a cotton-stuffed doll and snapped his neck in the process. He then plucked out each of the eyes in one fluid motion with two of his other hands as if he had just yanked buttons off the same doll. It was a brutal but quick process that very clearly demonstrated exactly how strong Linnaeus was. Then, turning back to Lucas, the creature stuck out one of his hands, offering the eyeball for Lucas to take. “Here you go. I saved the right one for you. It’s always the tastier of the two.”

One eye can taste better than the other? He took the “tastier” eye in his hand without looking down at it, keeping his own eyes focused on the prize: the new addition he was about to get for his dungeon.

“You know, if you don’t want to eat it, and it’s necessary for the dungeon, I will,” Katie offered.

“No, I’m not about to turn down a chance to break bread with a new friend,” Lucas replied, quickly cutting her off. He knew she meant well, but if he didn’t take the eye and eat it, then the quest was a failure. Linnaeus obviously had some trauma from people rejecting him because of his choice in dinner, so even without the quest prompt, Lucas knew how he needed to behave and the words he needed to say.

“Excellent. Now, shall we?” Linnaeus’s tongue flicked out and licked around the edges of his beak as he stared at the eye in his hand, clearly eager to enjoy the flavor.

“You don’t want to bless this momentous occasion, the day my manor gets a chance to welcome a new—” Lucas had started off stalling, hoping to throw several flattering words at Linnaeus while he finished readying himself to eat the eyeball, when out an arrow soared past him, nearly blowing his head off and killing him on the spot.

“What in the—?!” Lucas shouted, looking over to Bonnie.

“Sorry, boss! I forgot to play lookout. I was . . . with the . . .” She didn’t need to explain. No one had been paying attention to anything but the encounter with Linnaeus while eagerly waiting to see if Lucas would actually eat a person’s eyeball.

Lucas ducked behind one of the larger trees, and the rest quickly followed his example by diving behind various forms of cover. Only Nick wasn’t fast enough, and he was struck in the chest before he could get behind anything. The Dark Knight simply screamed out a string of profanities and raised his shield toward the group of enemies.

“Linnaeus,” Lucas shouted, drawing the beast’s attention, “don’t forget our pact. You’re with us for this battle!” While Linnaeus was watching him, he popped the eyeball into his mouth and bit down. The eye was just as slimy as he had expected, squishing between his teeth and popping like an especially juicy soft-skinned grape.