Now that I am back here, I find myself remembering good things I hadn’t allowed myself to think about for fear of remembering something bad. The moment I walked away I closed a part of me down, like an attic with a rotten floor. No matter what treasures lay inside, I had no desire to investigate and risk losing myself to the past. Finding Chris was what saved me; if I had never met him I don’t know who I would be now. I dread to think. His kindness was what pulled me in; I needed it. I still need it. He will be up now; he goes in to work early. I grab my mobile and call him. I hope he has forgiven me for walking away. I half expect him not to answer – just being here makes me wonder if my life away wasn’t all just a dream. Maybe I never left at all.

‘Flick?’ he answers, and I feel tears appear almost immediately. I missed him more than I realised.

‘Hey. I just wanted to say hi.’

‘How is it going there? Are you OK?’ he says, warm as ever and I wonder if I imagined him being annoyed. I know that sometimes my paranoia gets the best of me. It’s served me well in the past, though.

‘I’m good, it’s good to hear your voice.’

‘I wasn’t sure if you would call,’ he said.

‘Why wouldn’t I? I miss you guys,’ I say, sad that I even have to tell him that I miss them.

‘You were just acting really strange before you left. I was worried about you.’

‘Are you still coming down at the weekend? Would be good to see you.’ I feel like I might never see him again. This place has a way of keeping you here. It’s hard to get away.

‘We will be down as soon as we can. I love you. I have to get in to work now.’ I hear a thickness in his voice, as though he is holding back tears.

‘I love you, too,’ I say, but he has already gone. I hope he knows without hearing me say it.

I straighten my hair and my fringe, line my eyes and add the red lips. I want to be out when the shops are opening, before the town livens up. It’s a good opportunity to talk to local people, if I can even get up the nerve. I wear boots today, even though it’s warm, because I plan on being out for most of the day and I don’t want to give myself any excuse to retreat back to the hotel like a coward.