I turn away from her and start to eat my sandwich. I didn’t think she’d have even this much information for me. The news made it sound like Mandy was a tourist, but she was local.

I can’t help but think of Daisy when I am here. I was her age when I lived here, when I left. The person I am now was moulded back then, from the events that I witnessed, the things I ran away from. I’m hit with fresh guilt over the kind of mother I am, over the fact that I left them to come here and chase ghosts. I promised I would be better than the mother I had, and I have been, but the bar was very low, underground even. When you have your own children it’s much easier to question your own parents’ choices and not just blindly follow them. You realise the precious life you are responsible for looks to you for guidance, for direction.

I realise if I want to get answers then I need to actually go and look for them. I only eat half of the food, my appetite gone, then put a ten-pound note on the table – which more than covers my bill – before leaving the tea room. I walk back to the bus stop and get on a bus, the driver a woman, something you didn’t see very often when I lived here. There is no one else on board and so I sit at the front. There are a few minutes to wait and the driver stands just outside the door having a cigarette.

‘Excuse me,’ I say, and she turns to me in surprise, as though no one has ever done this before.

‘I’ll take your money in a minute.’ She smiles awkwardly and continues to smoke.

‘Oh no, I just wanted to ask if you knew anything about that girl that went missing. They said she was last seen at this bus stop.’

‘Yeah, terrible business, poor girl.’

‘Did you know her?’

‘Seen her on the bus a few times, but no, I didn’t know her. She was a quiet little thing, very polite though, unlike some of the little scrotes round here.’

‘Do you know who saw her last?’

‘Yeah, it was Bill Hawkins, drives the Honiton bus. Said she was in the hut when he pulled off. Next bus to come along was one of these, the driver said she weren’t there then.’

‘Was there a long wait? Could she have decided to walk?’

‘Someone would have seen her on the road, unless she went up the back way I suppose. But the hotel on the road up there has CCTV pointed at their car park and it catches the pavement. The local paper said no one walked up that way.’