I check the screen and see that I have called him six times now without him returning the call. It’s obvious now that he is avoiding me, that he is upset that I left. I haven’t spoken to him in several days. I can’t blame him. In a way this trip has been a long time coming, not just for our marriage but also for me to be able to put a lid on the past.

I have fallen in love twice in my life. One was brief, and the other I have sabotaged from the moment it began. Falling for Chris was something I neither invited nor welcomed. He was so innocent and sweet, instantly trustworthy. I barely noticed myself falling in love with Chris. If I had noticed, I would have put a stop to it, but by the time I did it was too late; Daisy was almost with us and I was crazy about him. I had naively assumed in those first few months together that love conquers everything – until the reality of day-to-day life kicks in, that is.

The news comes on again. The body in the woods is of a man in his twenties. They don’t say his name but I know it. The end of a story, a full stop.

Another piece of the puzzle falling into place, changing the picture completely. If he’s been under the earth in the woods all this time then who has been following me? Whose car have I been seeing? The fear that I am losing my mind is manifesting into a reality. Am I seeing things? Can I even trust my own eyes anymore?

Why him?

He was such a brief part of my life and yet the ripples of his presence continue to affect me and throw everything I think I know into disarray.

When someone disappears without explanation it’s hard to move on. I was the one who disappeared though. I was the one who didn’t look back. There are two more places I need to go before I have the answers I am looking for. I should go now, I should have gone yesterday. Maybe I never should have left at all. Even with everything he did, he didn’t deserve this.

I pick up the phone and call my husband, both frustrated and sad that he won’t take my calls.

Daisy answers. ‘What?’

‘Oh, hi, darling. Where’s your dad?’

‘He’s driving, he can’t talk right now,’ she says, but I can hear the TV in the background, telling me they are at home. Conspiring.

‘I just wanted to know how you are all doing?’ I ask. I could call them out on their lie but I hardly have a leg to stand on.

‘Really good. When are you back?’

‘I thought you guys were coming down here?’

‘Dad’s not sure now, he might have to work.’