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Back The Hallows Save as PDF
Chapters (89)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CONTENTS
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. 51
  56. 52
  57. 53
  58. 54
  59. 55
  60. 56
  61. 57
  62. 58
  63. 59
  64. 60
  65. 61
  66. 62
  67. 63
  68. 64
  69. 65
  70. 66
  71. 67
  72. 68
  73. 69
  74. 70
  75. 71
  76. 72
  77. 73
  78. 74
  79. 75
  80. 76
  81. 77
  82. 78
  83. 79
  84. 80
  85. 81
  86. 82
  87. 83
  88. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  89. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

People here are treating me well. They look at me different. I guess being in a place like this people just think you’re crazy, but they’re kind. I met another woman in here who tried to take her own life, too. We’ve been talking a lot about it, and it helps. I’m hoping I will be out of here soon. Please, please, please don’t tell Tatum about any of this. You know how he worries about me. Just tell him I’m visiting my mother and will be home soon. And hug him and tell him his mother loves him very much.

I skimmed through the remaining letters from my mother, my heartbeat starting to thump in my ears. More descriptions about her days and how the people in the hospital were treating her. Then I turned to the letters at the bottom of the stack.

Three letters, all from women, all written to my father. Several of them mentioned weekends together and how they felt about him. One thanked him for the trip to Mexico and hoped she would get to see him again soon.

I took out the drawer and dumped the contents onto the floor. Tons of papers, bills, receipts. One particular envelope looked old and worn. I picked it up. All it said on the front was “To Adam.”

Inside was a single sheet of paper containing my mother’s handwriting:

Dear Adam,

I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I know there’re no words that will comfort you. The pain you will feel can’t be fixed. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m on an airplane that’s crashing, and I can either jump out or crash with it, but the ending will be the same. You’re going to blame yourself because of the other women, and I blamed you for a long time, too. But in the end I don’t think that was it. I think this is how it was always supposed to end.

I don’t know what you should tell Tatum. He’s my heart. I wish I could get him to understand that he was the only reason I stayed as long as I did. Don’t tell him about this. Tell him something else. I don’t know what. But I don’t want him to feel this. To think his mom didn’t love him enough to stay. He won’t understand it now. Maybe when he’s older, you can tell him the truth.

I’m not going to do it in the house, I don’t want you to have that memory there. I’ll call the ambulance first and tell them where I’m going to be so you can have a funeral, if it helps. If it doesn’t, please just save the money and have me cremated.