I needed that.

Two weeks ago, I foolishly let all my woes get on top of me. I was weak, I admit. I took too many tablets, deliberately. I was found and taken to hospital where my stomach was pumped – unpleasant and not to be recommended. Why did I do it? I am lonely. I have no one who knows the real me, the Crawfie I was and the things I experienced. There is no one left who wants to hear them.

I don’t think you and I will even meet again, but I want you to know how sorry I am to have let you down. You were my friend then and I hope you can forgive me and feel that friendship still, as I do.

I still have all the mementoes of my time with the Princesses. I shall send them to Windsor Castle to be placed in the royal archive. I hope you will get a chance to look at them and see that I loved Lilibet and Margaret, and that they loved me.

God bless you, Tommy.

Marion Crawford

AKA Crawfie

PS No reply necessary

Tommy slowly put the letter down and sat deep in thought. Should he reply? He was in two minds. Poor Crawfie … good-hearted and bright, amusing and loyal, a good servant who could still be in the royal service if she had played her cards right, as Bobo had – she was still revered by all.

Tommy made himself a small whisky and soda, and went to bed. He would sleep before he decided on a reply.

The Royal Archives, Windsor Castle, Kensington Palace, February 1979

Tommy had not replied to Marion. She had made her decisions even after his warnings, and he was too old to take on the past, but he was curious to hear from the office of the royal archives, some time later, that a parcel had arrived at Windsor Castle for him to inspect. The archivist’s name was Angela, and after greeting him and walking him down to a room surrounded by shelves of box files, she showed him to a middle table, where a biscuit tin and a cardboard box stood. An envelope addressed to him lay by their side.

‘This is what came for you,’ she told him. ‘I have opened nothing, as instructed.’

Tommy was intrigued.

‘I shall leave you to it, Sir Alan. Shout if you need me. My office is just next door.’

‘Thank you,’ Tommy said, his eyes not leaving the objects in front of him.

Alone, he put his glasses on and drew up a chair.

He opened the envelope. There were two sheets of paper within. The top sheet read:

Dear Tommy,

As promised.

Crawfie

The second page was more formal.

To whom it may concern,

As solicitor for Mrs Marion Buthlay, and according to her wishes, I send one biscuit tin and one cardboard box containing mementos of her time in the employment of the royal household 1932–1950. Her greatest desire is that these are held in the royal archives of Windsor Castle for posterity and a testament to her loyalty.