He considered for a moment and then shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I stared up at him in disbelief. “What happened to me not having to do anything I didn’t want to do? And you nobly defending me?”

One of his knowing little smiles played over his lips. “Well. That was back when you didn’t want to do this because it challenged all your beliefs. Now that the line is crossed, your problem seems to be a little pessimism and not believing you can do this. And honestly, that’s bullshit.”

“A little pessimism?” I exclaimed. “Adrian, I’ve been staring at a bowl of water for over two hours! It’s nearly one thirty. I’m exhausted, I want coffee, and every muscle in my body hurts. Oh, and I’m about ready to throw up from that incense.”

“Those things all suck,” he agreed. “But I seem to recall you giving all of us lectures recently about enduring hardships to do what’s right. Are you saying you can’t do that to help Sonya?”

“I would do anything to help her! Anything within my power, that is. And I don’t think this is.”

“I don’t know,” he speculated. “I’ve had a lot of time to talk to Jackie—she lets me call her that, you know—and I’ve learned all about this human magic stuff. There’s a lot you can do with it.”

“It’s wrong,” I grumbled.

“And yet here you are, with the ability to find Sonya.” Adrian hesitated and then, reaching some decision, stepped toward me and rested his hands on my shoulders. “Jackie told me that you’re one of the most naturally gifted people she’s ever encountered for this kind of stuff. She said that with a little practice, a spell like this’ll be cake for you, and she’s certain you can pull it off now. And I believe her. Not because I have proof you’re magically talented but because I’ve seen how you approach everything else. You won’t fail at this. You don’t fail at anything.”

I was so exhausted I thought I might cry. I wanted to fall forward and have him carry me out of here, like he’d promised earlier. “That’s the problem. I don’t fail, but I’m afraid I will now. I don’t know what it’s like. And it terrifies me.” Especially because Sonya’s life depends on me.

Adrian reached out and traced the lily on my cheek. “You won’t have to find out what it’s like tonight because you aren’t going to fail. You can do this. And I’ll be here with you as long as it takes, okay?”

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. “Okay.”

I returned to my stool after he left and tried to ignore the fatigue in my body and mind. I thought about what he’d said, about how I wouldn’t fail. I thought about his faith in me. And most importantly, I thought about Sonya. I thought about how desperately I wanted to help her.