But it still hurt. She’d thought—hoped—they were beyond that.

She arched a brow, giving no hint of the wound he’d just inflicted. “Where do you think I was?”

His mouth turned white around the edges and his face darkened. “Just answer the question, Joan.”

She was tempted to tell him to go to Hades and let him think what he wanted. But she could see his torment and would not add to it just to salve her hurt.

“I was with my former guardian. Sir Hugh arrived at the castle earlier and invited me to his rooms so I could fill him in on what has happened since I’ve seen him last. We lost track of time. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“And you were with him all this time?”

“I was,” she answered. “You can ask my cousin if you don’t believe me. Margaret was with us all evening.” But she sensed something more behind the question. “What is this about, Alex? Why are you sneaking into my room in the middle of the night, hurling baseless accusations as if I’ve done something wrong?”

He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration, and for the first time she could see the lines of exhaustion on his face. From the dust and dirt on his surcoat and armor, she realized he’d probably come straight here after returning. Why such haste?

The question was answered a moment later.

“Because I rode back anxious to see my betrothed only to have the first thing I hear be that she was seen cavorting with another man.”

She held his gaze. “And you believed this?” She took a step closer, smelling the leather and horse and the hint of sweat that was oddly intoxicating. “After what happened between us, do you really think I could share intimacies like that with someone else?”

He winced with shame. “No, yes, hell I didn’t want to. But Despenser sounded pretty damned convincing. He said you knew this man.”

“Sir Hugh?” she repeated incredulously. “Of course he has no reason to lie?”

He paused. “Despenser said you were once in love with this man. And then you were gone so late . . .”

Joan bristled. Sir Phillip. That was what this was about. Alex was jealous of the man who’d raped her. She would laugh if she didn’t feel so much like crying.

God, if he only knew how wrong he was.

“Sir Hugh is feeding you lies, Alex. There is a knight who arrived with his father whom I knew as a girl, but I can assure you I want nothing to do with him. Which is exactly what I told him when he sought me out at the midday meal.”

His eyes scanned her face, presumably for signs of untruth. “Then you did not love him?”