‘One step at a time, Danny. Just be on your best behaviour tonight. Jamie will be delighted to see you but you can’t let him down like last time, not again.’

‘I know that.’ Danny held his breath to quell the emotion this time. ‘Maybe we can get back to being a family, Sharon, maybe we can get back to that.’

‘One step at a time, like I said. Nothing’s changed, OK. I just don’t like to see you upset.’

Danny nodded. He wiped his face, suddenly embarrassed. ‘I think something has changed – for me, I mean.’

Sharon’s smile was the first genuine one she had given him for months. ‘I hope you’re right, I really do.’

Chapter 8

Joel stepped out into his garden and instantly wished he had added another layer to his jumper and jeans. He glanced back, still unable to shake the feeling that he was sneaking out for an illicit phone call even though his wife had okayed it. She’d listened to his summary of the conversation with his superintendent and recognised that it would require some action on his part.

Michelle was being supportive – just like she always was – but that wasn’t something Joel wanted to be testing. She knew him better than anyone, knew how passionate he could be about his job, but she had also seen first-hand how destructive that could be. He knew she was worried about him, about his return to work, and it had been made worse by his inability to assure her that he wasn’t worried too.

Even now, standing out in the cold, he knew he was hesitating, putting off making the call that would suck him back into the world of policing. He had never considered it could be a world that would overwhelm him – not like that – leaving him shaken to the core, his confidence lost, his mind a thick fog of confusion. The Job had rallied around him, the bosses, his team too, but he had eyed every one of those initial contacts with suspicion. He knew that people love a drama, they love it when someone else falls apart, especially someone like him – the Tactical Support Group Sergeant with ‘ten years of breaking doors and busting heads’ as stated on the card his team had got him, to mark his decade leading them.

Joel’s application for the Inspector’s exam had been the very next day. Ma’am Marsden was on the final interview panel that had later ratified his promotion and, unknown to him, was already sizing him up for a brand-new role. He had agreed almost offhand, without any consideration for the size of the task of moving from the sergeant of the TSG to an investigative DI, and why would he? At that time, he genuinely thought he could do anything.