‘Go on then, tell me about this …’

‘Gabe.’

‘Gabe. If it helps. Not that I think he’s worth even thinking about, and not that I want to hear about the stupid twat, but if it’s going to help.’

I frown. ‘Maybe it won’t help. It’s not actually Gabe that’s the important thing. You’re right he’s not worth bothering about.’

‘No?’ He looks confused.

‘It was the date. I just needed a date!’

‘Why the urgency?’ He suddenly grins. ‘It’s a bet! I get it, you’ve bet a mate you can hook him!’

‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘Who would do something like that?’

He shrugs, looks a bit sheepish.

‘God, you’re impossible. You’ve done that as well, haven’t you?’

He doesn’t answer. ‘Okay, you did it cos you need a hot date for some party! Am I right? You can’t go on your own because your ex will be there?’

I sigh. ‘I thought you’d given up on thinking you were right? No, it’s not for a bet, not for a party, I just …’ I pause, then lean in a bit closer to him. He’s got very nice eyes. I think I’m a bit drunk. I have to be drunk or I wouldn’t be leaning in or telling him this stuff. ‘I haven’t had a date for ages and ages; I’ve not even had sex for ages! Well I’ve not touched a man, apart from you, of course, but that isn’t touching-touching, for eight months and nine days to be precise. Oh God, no! More!’ I sit back. Wow, I hadn’t realised just how bad this had got. ‘Robbie moved out six months and nine days ago, but I hadn’t seen him for weeks before that. Does that count as non-date time? It definitely counts as non-sex time.’

Noah pulls a funny face and shakes his head. ‘Haven’t a clue what you are talking about.’

‘I’ve only ever had one boyfriend: Robbie.’

‘Wow.’ He does a low whistle, and doesn’t sound judgemental, but I ignore him and bat on.

‘And we split up, and now he’s gone.’ I wave my hands to make the point. ‘And I’ve realised I’ve never really done first dates and I just wanted to do it, you know, get it over with. A proper date, not somebody I’ve been set up with, or some weirdo stalker, somebody I picked myself because I liked them! I promised myself I’d do it, and now grunge-faced Gabe has ruined it! Will you stop laughing!’

‘Get it over with?’ He is still chuckling. Which is kind of annoying, but also kind of contagious. ‘Look Rosie, just walk up to a guy you fancy and, well, chat.’

‘I can’t! That’s the point! I walk up to somebody, and, well, freeze and don’t know what to say, and end up asking him to pass me a beer mat or something.’

‘You’re talking to me.’

‘That’s different, you’re not a date. I don’t fancy you.’

‘Not at all?’ He looks a bit put out. ‘Not even a tiny bit?’