I know he’s right. He is. And I’m angry at Dad, and I’m angry at me for letting him affect me the way he does, and now I’m angry at Noah. Because. Well because he’s here to be angry at. And I’m not quite ready to be shouted at about not letting myself be shouted at (even though, to be fair, he’s not really shouting). And I still feel so bad about Dad catching me behaving like a sex mad teenager. And still, and this is what I know deep down it really is, I’m scared. I’m scared that I got so carried away with Noah, that I enjoyed so much, that I want so, so much more.

And I can’t.

He might not be as bad as Dad, but he doesn’t want to settle down. He doesn’t want to fall in love. He hates the whole idea of love.

I feel so sad now I want to cry.

The gorgeous Noah just wants fun.

Noah doesn’t want somebody like me. He’s kind, and he’s nice, and he’s gorgeous, and he’s everything I didn’t want but have just found out I’d like to try.

But he’ll never be mine.

‘Noah.’

‘Oh God, don’t you hate every sentence that begins with your name?’

‘Look, I wasn’t avoiding you before. I just ran, cos I saw Dad, and … Why don’t you just, just,’ I don’t want to say this, but I have to, ‘go back and talk to Laurie? You looked pretty taken by her.’

‘Unfair! Hang on, you’re cross with me because I was talking to, to …’

‘Laurie, the one with the hair extensions, implants and peroxide. Be yourself, be natural you said, haha!’ Hot tears are stinging at my eyes, but I crash on saying all the wrong, unfair things. I know I’m pushing him away. I have to. I can’t change Dad, I can’t change the way he sees me, but I can make sure my own life is okay. The way I want it.

‘Rosie, I said be natural because that’s how I like you! As you. I’m not interested in her, or anybody else, we were just chatting.’

‘Fine. Anyway I wasn’t avoiding you, you didn’t exactly come looking for me, did you?’

He blinks. I’m being horrible. I know it, he knows it.

He didn’t come though. It was Bea, my friend, who came to see where I was. To check I was okay.

‘It was Bea,’ his voice is low, ‘who told me to stay put; she knew where you’d be!’

‘I’ll miss the way you do that.’

‘What?’ He frowns. Even his frowns are cute.

‘Read my mind.’ And I’ll miss lots of other things as well. The confidence boost, the grins, the banter. The kisses.

‘Look, I’m sorry but I think we’ve gone off-piste a bit. This isn’t what it’s supposed to be.’ I avoid his gaze. It’s too hard to look at him.

‘It was one kiss, Rosie. I’m sorry, look, I thought you wanted …’ He runs his hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry, I was a jerk, I misread.’