‘Sorry, rehearsal, shouldn’t have my phone on. Can you find out how your mother got Serena’s contact details? Dad x’

‘That’s easy. I got them for her. Why are you rehearsing, you should be on your way home, shouldn’t you? X’

‘Mix up, long story, will do my best to get there. Dad xx’

‘Do my best had better mean you will be, I’ll kill you if you aren’t! Ro x’

I put the ‘Ro’ to counteract his two kisses. It is text sarcasm. Dad, I’ve realised, is an emotional manipulator. See, something else I’ve worked out. It’s taken me a while, but there’s no stopping me now. I’m on a roll.

‘Haha you’re just like your mum! Dad x’

‘No, I’m not actually, I’m a mix of the two of you.’

God help me.

‘No excuses – you’ve known about this date for 30 years!! See you later R x.’

Please don’t mess this up, Dad.

He doesn’t reply. He’s probably working out just how big an excuse he’ll need for not showing. Or how quickly he’ll be able to leave afterwards.

I can’t let Mum keep punishing herself like this. After this party we are going to have another mother-daughter chat. I am going to put my foot down. This is the last time.

‘Be five minutes late, sorry. Noah x’

‘Early compared to Dad then! Rosie x’

I add a crying with laughter face because that’s how I feel.

Smiley because Noah is coming. I haven’t heard from him since we went to his sister’s barbecue. It was all a little strained on the way home. I’m not sure what we’re doing any longer, or why.

Crying because I think maybe he’s trying to work out how to tell me he doesn’t want to do this any longer. His pointed comment about how comfortable I was chatting to Jed proves that. I just put the bravado on and said ‘sure’ but the point is, Jed wasn’t a date. I can talk to men who I don’t fancy, have no plan to go out with, and who are friends of friends. It’s the date bit that sends me into a panic. Not that I have any interest in going on a date at the moment anyway, but I’m not going to tell him that.

Anyway, he was a bit huffy and sharp, so I was a bit sarky and short, so we parted company on much the same terms you do when you fall out with a sibling and you’re ten years old. But without slamming the bedroom door or saying, ‘I’ll tell Mum it was you who let the hamster out’.

I’m a bit (okay a lot) scared about Noah walking away and leaving me to tackle the dating scene alone. Okay, truth bit here. It is not fear, I’m not scared. Even if I’m not going to admit it to anybody else, I just don’t want him to walk away. Full stop.