‘I am fine! Totally fine!’ I feel sick.

He chuckles. ‘You should see the look on your face!’

Luckily, he can only see my face, and not what is going on in my head. ‘What look? No,’ I put a hand up, ‘don’t say a word. And stop laughing at me! I meant do I look desperate for a date, a guy, and before you say anything, a date doesn’t have to mean sex!’

‘If you say so.’ He leans in and gently rests his hand on my knee. It’s warm, a bit unsettling, but rather nice-unsettling. Bea would call this progress. ‘Tell me the story, babe.’

‘Please don’t call me babe, nobody says babe, and …’ I look at his hand. I probably should insist he moves it. I might have to flick it if he doesn’t remove it soon.

‘Well you won’t tell me your name, so …’

‘It’s Rosie. Rosie Brown. Okay, satisfied?’ I mean what’s the harm? He’s bought me a drink; we probably should swap names.

‘Rosie? Yeah, Rosie suits you! I’m Noah.’ He holds out a hand and when I put mine tentatively in it, he bends over and kisses the back. ‘Noah Adams.’

‘My God, you are such a flirt! Do you never stop? Can you just be serious for a moment? You’re not my type, so you might as well drop the act.’

He looks pretend-hurt, but I’m not falling for that.

‘Fire away then if you’re going to be boring. How can I help?’ He takes his hand off my knee and leaves it feeling all cold.

I take a deep breath. I am going to do this. I am going to make the next hour of my life, with this totally unsuitable guy, count. ‘Okay, you’re a man.’

‘Last time I looked I was.’

I ignore him.

‘So, you can tell me. What the fuck do men want?’ This is the question that has been bothering me since I got here. Well since Gabe didn’t get here. Well okay, since well before then. Since I realised that I don’t know how to date.

If I knew exactly what they wanted, then I wouldn’t have been stood up, would I? I would also be confident about first dates.

‘Sex, beer, food, football?’

I am a bit worried about the order of this list but will ignore it for now. ‘Can you be serious here, just for one teeny moment? I mean as far as a date goes. How do I find the right guy for me? How do I find a date? What do I say? How am I supposed to know how to do it?’

‘It?’ He grins. He’s gone twinkly again. A little dimple has appeared either side of the gentle curve of his mouth.

‘Date! Are you completely sex mad or something?’

‘You want me to tell you how to find a date? Really? A girl looking like you do?’

‘Really.’ I try and grin back, but it doesn’t work. My face won’t cooperate. I think it looks suspicious not happy. ‘What do you mean, looking like me?’