Eddie locked eyes with his dad and Uncle Reg. All three shook their heads. Ronny had the brains and decorum of a fucking rat. Eddie quickly stood up, made a couple of jokes and glossed over his brother’s comments. He ended his speech by handing Jess yet another envelope.

‘You’ve made me so happy by becoming my wife, Jess. This is my present to you,’ he told her.

Jess couldn’t believe her eyes as she tore it open.

A few days ago they’d viewed a beautiful house not far from where her parents lived. Jess had fallen in love with it on sight. It was in a private road and was beautifully decorated.

‘We can’t afford it yet, Jess. Let’s get the wedding out of the way and we’ll find somewhere after we’re married,’ Eddie had told her.

Now she had the deeds and keys in her hand and could scarcely believe her luck. ‘I can’t believe it. Thank you, I love you so much,’ she said, as she threw her arms around Eddie’s neck.

Overcome by excitement, Jess lifted up the hem of her dress and ran over to her mum’s table. ‘Look, Mum, it’s only ten minutes’ walk from you. That’s the house I told you about. There’s a picture of it there.’

Eddie stood proudly behind his wife. ‘I knew she wanted to live near you and what Jess wants, she will always get,’ he told Joyce.

Joyce grabbed Eddie’s face and planted a smacker on his forehead. ‘I can pop round when you’re at work and, when the baby arrives, I’ll babysit whenever you want. I knew you’d make a great son-in-law the moment I saw you, Eddie. I can’t thank you enough for buying her a house near her mum. Look, Stanley, isn’t it wonderful?’

Stanley glanced at the piece of paper and nodded dumbly. As much as he hated Eddie, he was pleasantly surprised by this strange turn of events. Knowing Eddie’s type, he’d have fully expected him to whisk Jessica miles away from him and Joycie.

‘A young girl needs to be near her mum and dad. That’s what families are all about,’ Eddie said, smiling at Stan.

‘Don’t expect me to come round and change shitty nappies, will you, sis?’ Raymond said laughing.

Eddie ruffled Raymond’s hair. Jessica’s little bro was a proper character. In fact, he reminded Ed of himself at sixteen. Eddie allowed himself a wry smile. Neither Jess nor Ray were fuck-all like their father, so surely at least one of them had to belong to the milkman.

With the speeches and surprises all over, Eddie started to organise cabs to get to the reception.