As Harry Mitchell strolled towards him, Stanley felt the colour drain from his skin. Memories of the past came flooding back and all he could picture was Roger Dodds covered in blood with his eye hanging out. Unable to swallow the lump of fillet steak in his mouth, Stanley began to make choking noises.

‘For goodness’ sake, Stanley, why do you always have to show me up?’ Joyce yelled, as she punched him on the back.

As the meat flew out of his mouth and landed on Harry Mitchell’s lapel, Stan felt his bowels loosen.

Raymond burst out laughing and, luckily for Stan, Harry Mitchell was in a jovial mood. ‘Fucking hell, I’ve had a few bullets aimed at me in me time, but never a lump of meat,’ he joked.

Jessica was mortified. ‘Dad, this is Harry, Eddie’s father.’

‘Pleased to meet you,’ Stanley mumbled, shaking his hand.

There was no recognition on Harry’s face, and Stan breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Christ, you’re shivering. Shall I get them to turn the heating up?’ Harry asked kindly.

Stanley shook his head. ‘No, I’m fine thanks. I’ve got a bit of a chill, I think.’

Aware that her father was making a total penis of himself, Jessica quickly dragged Harry towards her brother. ‘And this is Raymond, my younger brother.’

Raymond stood up and shook Harry Mitchell’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you, sir,’ he said politely.

‘I’m sure we’ll all catch up again later in the pub,’ Harry said, bemused by his new in-laws. The brother was a proper kid with a handshake like a man’s. As for the father’s limp hand, the less said the better. ‘You can always tell a man’s soul by his handshake,’ his old mum used to tell him and Harry had learned over the years that she was spot on.

After everybody had finished their meals, champagne was poured freely all round. Harry Mitchell was the first to give a speech. He kept it short and sweet, but ended it by giving Jessica an envelope to open.

‘My wedding present to both of you,’ he said.

Jessica gasped as she looked inside. There were flight tickets and a stay in a five-star hotel in Italy. ‘It’s booked for next week. I’ve never flown before!’ she yelled gleefully.

As the best man, Ronny was the next to stand up. He spoke about Ed as a kid and ending it by saying, ‘Bev, my brother’s ex-wife, was as thick as two short planks. She was ugly, a monster, and I’m sure that everyone will agree that this time Ed’s got it right. Jessica is everything his first wife wasn’t and I’m sure they’ll be extremely happy together. Raise your glasses everybody. To Eddie and Jessica.’