“I’ve felt like a ghost these last couple days,” Sarah says quietly. “Mark and me, we’ve been hitting the internet hard, working on projects to help, you know, win hearts and minds. And we finally met GUARD in person, which—oh my God, John, I have so much to tell you. But I need you to know first that during all this keeping busy, I’ve felt like I’m just going through the motions. Like I’m out of body. Because all I could think about was you getting blown up with those people in New York.”

I should ask Sarah about the identity of the mysterious hacker she and Mark have been working with. I should find out the details of what she and Mark have been doing. I know I should. Except in that moment, all I can think about is how much I miss her.

“I know part of the reason you went to find Mark was because you didn’t want to be a distraction,” I say, trying to sound more reasonable than desperate. “Not being able to talk to you, to see you, to touch you—that might be a bigger distraction than anything. You’ve been helping so much, but . . .”

“I miss you too,” Sarah replies, and I can tell when she speaks that she’s trying to find her resolve, to be tough like she was when I dropped her off at the bus station in Baltimore. “We made the right decision, though. It’s better this way.”

“It was a stupid decision,” I reply.

“John . . .”

“I don’t know how I let you talk me into this,” I continue. “We should’ve never separated. After everything that happened in New York, everything I had to see—”

My breath catches for a moment as I remember the fires, the destruction, the wounded and the dead. I realize that I’m shaking again, and definitely not from exhaustion. I feel like I might have hit my limit, like there’s only so much brutality my brain can endure. I try to focus on Sarah and on getting my words out, on making sense and not sounding too desperate.

“I need you with me, Sarah,” I manage to finish. “I feel like these are the last battles we’re ever going to fight. After New York, I—I’ve seen how quickly it can all be taken away. I don’t want us to be apart if something happens, if this is the end.”

Sarah gathers a deep breath. When she speaks next, her voice is firm.

“This is not the end, John.”