When Sam’s gone, I push both my hands through my hair and leave them there, squeezing my head, like I’m literally trying to keep it together. After a moment of composing myself, I reach for the phone Sam left behind and punch in the number that I’ve committed to memory.

Sarah answers on the third ring, breathless and hopeful. “John?”

“You have no idea how badly I needed to hear your voice,” I reply, glancing sidelong at Walker’s laptop screen and finally closing it. I press the phone tight to my ear, shut my eyes and imagine Sarah is sitting next to me.

“I was so worried, John. I saw—we all saw what happened in New York.”

I have to bite the inside of my cheek. The image of Sarah I was calling up in my mind’s eye is replaced by one of buildings crumbling under the bombardment of the Anubis.

“It was—I don’t know what to say about it,” I tell her. “I feel lucky to have made it out.”

I don’t mention the guilt I’ve been feeling, or how hard it has been to keep going. I don’t want Sarah to know that about me. I want to be the heroic guy from her video.

Sarah doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. I can hear her breathing, slow and shaky, the way it gets when she’s trying to keep her emotions from bubbling out. When she finally speaks, her voice is a quiet and desperate whisper, coming from far away.

“It was so horrible, John. All those poor people. They’re dying, the world’s basically ending, and all—all I could think about was what might have happened to you, why you weren’t calling. I don’t—I don’t have a charm on my ankle to keep track of you. I didn’t know if . . .”

I realize that Sarah’s relief at hearing my voice is the angry kind, the kind that comes when you’ve spent sleepless nights worrying about a person. I remember how it felt when the Mogadorians had taken her, how it felt like a piece of me was missing. I also remember how much simpler things were then—avoid the Mogs, rescue Sarah, there weren’t millions of lives hanging in the balance. Crazy to think that used to seem like a crisis.

“My sat phone got destroyed or I would’ve called sooner. We made it to Brooklyn where the army has set up. I’m fine,” I reassure her, knowing that I’m partly trying to convince myself.