We walked up the familiar paved path that snaked through the grass in front of Gram’s house in Paterson, New Jersey. The exterior of the mid-sized home was a mix of neutral siding panels and grey stone sections. We’d been coming here for family dinner on Sundays since we were kids, although in recent years, we’d missed more of them due to work and life across the river. Dinner was a very loose term as it actually took place in the late afternoon after Mass, but this was always what we called it and it was much too heavy a meal to be considered lunch anyway. Gram’s was a warm home, decorated in her eclectic collection of religious relics and floral curtains that matched the antique couches and armchairs. Many of the rooms upstairs were small but the formal dining room was large and always busting at the seams with loud family members. As we got closer to the front door, I slowed my steps slightly as my nerves mounted.

‘Come on Lizzie, you have to get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-Aid,’ Andie said, grabbing my arm and dragging me forward faster. I pulled my arm out of her grip.

‘I know, I just don’t even know how to talk to them. And the whole family is going to be here, most of whom knew and kept this from me. It’s embarrassing being the last one to know the truth about my own life.’

There was a brief awkward silence as we both remembered the recent tension between us over the adoption day photo. Andie put her hand on my arm. ‘I get it. It sucks. But Gram is always a good buffer at least. If anyone tries talking she’ll just shove an extra meatball in their face,’ Andie said, laughing while we continued up the walkway. I snorted in response. ‘I should warn you though, since you’ve been dodging your mom’s calls she’s been calling me to try to find out what’s up with you.’

‘What?’ I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks and grabbing onto Andie’s arm to bring her to a halt. ‘Why didn’t you tell me when she called? You didn’t tell her about what’s been going on with Cris and the FBI, did you?’

‘What? No, of course not. Come on Lizzie. I didn’t tell you because things have been a little weird between us and you’ve been obsessed with finding your bio-family and getting to know them, but I would never tell your mom anything behind your back,’ Andie said.

‘Obsessed?’ I interjected, a mix of hurt and anger simmering dangerously close to the surface.

‘You know what I mean,’ Andie said quickly, shifting her weight uncomfortably. ‘You didn’t even tell me that that you were going to see Cris and Rosie again until after you got back from your last visit.’ I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. ‘I understand, Lizzie. I do,’ Andie continued, talking faster. ‘It’s huge. And it’s my fault things have been weird lately. I just meant I haven’t really had a chance to tell you about her calling, and besides, there’s not much to tell. All I told your mom was that you’ve been super busy.’