“What up, y’all? It’s chow time.” He wrestled a large bag of feed off the stack and tore it open with a knife that hung nearby. The lowing grew more excited, and the cows began to shift and shuffle in their pens. Rashid walked slowly among them, pouring feed into troughs. When he got to his favorite one, the cow they called Mr. T because of the protuberant ridge of fur on her back, he stopped and rubbed her there for a minute. The cow was unmoved by this show of affection, but for some reason of her own, she did not bellow like the others for food, just looked at him with large, liquid brown eyes. After he filled her trough, he slid down the wall opposite her, into the coarse, loose hay scattered throughout the barn. The only sounds that could be heard were the noisy exhalations and mastications of the cows and the ragged, tearing sobs of the boy. The sounds went on for a long time.

Rashid was cold and cramped by the time he struggled to his feet. The cows ignored him. His face was lightly dusted with chaff. He brushed the back of his hand roughly across his eyes and sighed. He had never felt so alone in his life. The only thing he could hear was the beginning-to-be-bitter wind sighing through the trees across the road. He looked at his watch. Almost lunchtime. He’d been in the barn for nearly two hours and missed two classes, Latin among them. He started walking back to campus, his mind completely blank.

By the time he got back to the cafeteria, everyone had gone into lunch already. The din hit his ears as soon as he entered and took his place in line. His heart was tight in his chest, and he could hear his breath in his ears. He saw Gerald sitting in the corner where they usually sat, surrounded by the mix of black, Asian, and white guys that they sat with. Rashid could tell from where he was standing that Gerald was telling some long story. Every face was turned to him, expectant and laughing. Rashid carried his tray to the table as though it were laden with crystal. Gerald acknowledged him briefly: “What’s up, cuz? Didn’t see you after history today.”

“I cut, man. Couldn’t deal.”