But in the locker room after practice, as Rashid took off his running stuff, he heard Harrison at the lockers on the other side from him, talking to one of the guys he hung around with—Ben Gould, it sounded like. “You know, the way Bryson runs, it’s just natural with him,” he said. “I mean, he’s fast, yeah, but aren’t they all like that? You know, running from the cops and guns and all that shit.”

They both laughed, stupid har-de-har-har sounds. Rashid’s breath turned to glass in his throat. There was a moment when he could see himself going around the lockers, slamming his fist into those stupid faces, roaring obscenities that began with their names. But if he got into a fight, he’d be out of this place in about a second, just another ghetto mistake. He rested his head against the cool metal of the locker door, grinding until the pain blocked out all other feeling. His eyes were hot. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. He wasn’t going to get kicked out. Not for them. And not for Washington. After a while, all he could hear was the sound of his own breath. Maybe that was enough.

Revelations

I WAS A LITTLE surprised when Jerome told me he was a runner. He seemed as though the life of the body wouldn’t interest him very much. But after he told me, I began to notice a certain kind of muscular grace in his walk. I found that my eyes would follow him a bit when I saw him around the campus. Nothing heavy. My eyes were just drawn in his direction.

It was odd, feeling this. The thing about looking at men, once you’re divorced, is the ever-present thought Could this lead to something? When you’re married, if you’re faithful, you might look, but you know you can’t touch. You just stop at a certain point—maybe you go home and make love to your husband with a little extra gusto for a while, but then you open your eyes and it’s still him and his hair is the same and his breath is the same and his skin is the same and your fantasy softens and fades away like an old drawing. I don’t know what it would be like to have been unfaithful—Cal did, which was part of the problem.