But now, Sarah’s almost grown. And I am alone. Free, I guess, though it doesn’t often feel it. To look at a man and know that it could mean something if I wanted it to was a new feeling—one I wasn’t sure what to do with. For the moment, I decided not to deal with it. It seemed safest that way. The look in Helen’s eyes when I expressed the slightest interest in Jerome was a bit chilling, to say the least.

Still, I liked to watch him—that combination of awkwardness and grace. That’s what got me out to the cross-country fields on a fall day that was so cool—but not yet cold—that the air was electric, vivid. So many things about this school’s campus are clichés brought to life. The beautiful, lush grounds; the handsome, well-raised boys everywhere, their voices literally ringing through the air.

I stood with a small group of faculty and other students, watching the boys warm up—the high-kneed jogs, the quick sprinting bursts of speed. The head coach, Jon Sasser, and Jerome were completely engrossed in preparations for the meet, talking earnestly to the boys, checking watches, rubbing an anxious shoulder here and there. Jerome seemed more at ease than I had ever seen him, though I noticed that the boys went first to Jon with any questions. After a while, they all assembled at the starting line. Rashid Bryson stood near the back of the pack, his dreads bobbing a bit as he warmed up, the only brown face among the boys. The gun was fired and they took off—Jerome and Jon each checked their stopwatches anxiously as the boys left. Then they consulted quickly, and Jon took off at a quick jog toward his car. Jerome checked his stopwatch again, looked up with a slightly lost expression, and, when he caught sight of me, walked over.

“Miss Hansen, what brings you out here on this fine day?”

I laughed, surprised at his formality, and said, “Call me Jana, please. You don’t have to talk to me like the kids do.”

He looked abashed and then said, “Well, what brings you out here … Jana?” His voice softened slightly.

I looked away, embarrassed. “I like to watch the kids run. And it seems like a good idea to get to know as much of the school as I can just starting out. You can learn a lot from the extracurriculars. How’s the team this year?”

“Oh, very promising. Very promising.” He paused, seeming to consider something. “The Bryson boy is quite a talented runner.”

“He is?”

“Very. It’s rather exciting. You probably couldn’t see because they all left in a pack, but you’ll see when they return. Jon’s gone out to check their times and cheer them along on the course.”