She gazed out the windshield, not looking at me. “He doesn’t trust you. He came to see me today to work on his chapel talk, and he thinks you don’t want him here. And … after watching how uncomfortable you were in there today at the thought, even the very thought of having more boys like him in this school, I … I’m not convinced that he’s wrong. I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain, but that’s part of why I’m not sure we can go on. I had a boy like him in my old school … I lost him. I just can’t be with you knowing you feel as you do. I just can’t.” She looked out the window on her side.

“What is it you see in him, anyway?” I said suddenly, surprised to hear real heat in my voice. “Why are you so convinced he does belong here? Because his brother was killed?” I drew a deep breath. “That alone doesn’t make him deserving of what we offer here. You have to work for that. Having a brother killed … that earns you nothing. You hear me? Nothing.”

She turned away from the window and gazed at me keenly for a minute that seemed without end. Then her eyes widened. “This happened to you. This happened to you. Didn’t it?” Her voice did not change inflection. Now it was my turn to look away, my eyes stinging.

“My brother was killed when I was teaching in Boston. He was holding up a store. I …” But there was nothing else to say.

“Jerome, I’m so sorry.” She reached across the seat for my hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yes. Well. I left the public schools after he died. There didn’t seem to be much point. After that. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t help any of them. And they wouldn’t help themselves.” At those words, her hand, her whole body, stiffened and then moved away from mine. She removed her hand. A bitter drawing away.

“That’s how you see it?”

I looked her full in the face. “It’s the only way I know how to see it.”

“Jerome … I … I’m sorry about your brother. I don’t presume to know what might have helped him, but don’t you see … you have to give people a chance. They can’t make it if you don’t. Supporting Rashid … it’s a chance to try to put things right. Why are you throwing that away?”

“I’m not throwing anything away.”