“I think I’ll help,” Lisa says, leaving me alone with my sister.

I kick off the ground to put the swing in motion as the screen door slams shut.

Mary moves to sit beside me. “I know Mom doesn’t come right out and say it, but she’s on your side on this one.”

“She has a weird way of showing it. Ever since I left for college, she’s made me feel like I’m the one who messed up by running off with Christian in tow.”

“Are you kidding?” She chuckles. “She is so proud of you. She and Lisa were just talking about how when they were your age, they were both straddled down with kids on each hip wishing they’d followed through on their dreams.”

I roll my eyes because Lisa only has one kid and by the time my mother had enough kids to have one on each hip, Mary was fifteen. I understand the expression, though.

“She worries about you, wants the best for you. The same way you want for Christian.”

My mother and Lisa reappear with another wine bottle and an extra glass. My mother hands it to me. “Are you staying?”

Two glasses of wine and the worst book club discussion in all of history later, I head off to my old room and plop down on the bed. Mary had to get home to her family and Mom and Dad went out to dinner. I opted to stay home and stew in my misery. Christian calls and tells me all about his afternoon which I’m pleased to find out includes Victor playing soccer with him. In a moment of weakness, I text Joel.

Me: Whatcha doing?

Smooth, Katrina. Great opening line.

Joel: Just got to the hotel.

Me: What time’s the game tomorrow?

Joel: Not til 6 – won’t be back until Sunday.

Me: Good luck!

He doesn’t respond right away, and I toss my phone to the end of the bed wishing more than ever I could get lost in fantasies with Joel. I roll over on my stomach and pull up the covers not caring at all that I’m still fully dressed. I’ve got a week all to myself. God, it’s been so long since I’ve been able to make plans with no one else to consider.

As I drift off, imagining a day at the spa or maybe declaring it sweatpants week and bingeing Netflix and ice cream, a much better idea occurs to me and I spend the rest of the night dreaming about it.

29

KATRINA

Blair, Gabby, and I shuffle from our seats out of the Sun Devil’s stadium. Valley defeated ASU and I’m minutes from Joel knowing I came all this way to watch him play.

“So, you didn’t tell him you were coming?” Gabby asks with big eyes.

We pile into a cab and give the driver the address of our hotel.

“Should I have?”

“No, it’s fine. He’s going to be so excited to see you,” Blair insists.