I sit down in the middle and pull her legs on to my lap. She giggles nervously as I take her dainty feet in my hand. A piece of blonde hair has come loose and hangs at the corner of her eye. Reaching forward, I brush the pad of my thumb over her smooth skin and tuck the hair behind her ear without thinking.

The simple movement takes me back to a million years ago and I freeze with panic.

20

JOEL

October, Senior Year of High School

“Are you in this or not?” Polly asks as she pulls her hair up, twisting it and placing a clip to hold it back. She’s missed a strand and I tuck it back, shuffling my feet in front of my locker. I stare at the clump of hair, now behind one ear, because I know damn well if I look her in the eyes I’m done. Those big green eyes are the reason I started chasing her and the reason I asked her to be my girlfriend. I thought I was going to be one of those guys that played the field and sowed my oats as Mr. Walter called it in sixth grade when we got the sex education talk.

I’d seen what true love was like. My parents were crazy about each other, even after seventeen years of marriage their love was obvious. Love like that was beautiful and special, I assumed, but I also saw how much work it was. Every Monday my father brought home white roses, my mother’s favorites. On Tuesdays, they had a date night – every week, no matter what. On Wednesdays, they played tennis together at the country club in some couple’s league. I could go on and on… every day was spent showing their affection. Sounded fucking exhausting.

Sure, I wanted all of that eventually, but I was content to let love take a backseat until I looked into those mossy green eyes. Now I’m fucked, but I get it.

“‘Course I’m in this. What does my buying you a phone have to do with this?”

“Consider it my early birthday gift,” she says.

“I thought we were going to hang out Saturday, celebrate the big one-eight then.” My gift depends on that being true.

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m going to visit my sister this weekend in Phoenix. She wants me to meet her friends and they’re having a party so it’s sort of perfect. I can celebrate my birthday with my sister this year.”

Well, shit. Polly’s sister is just a year older and they’re close. It’s been hard for Polly since her sister went to college. I wait for her to invite me, put a silver lining on my ruined weekend, but she doesn’t.

She holds up her busted iPhone and then stands on her tiptoes to catch my eye and stick out her full, pouty lips. “My screen is cracked. Don’t you want me to be able to text you while I’m gone?”