“Hey, Kitty?”

“Hmm?”

“I like you.”

I laugh because he sounds so earnest. I don’t dare meet his gaze though. I’m afraid my feelings will be written all over my face.

“Also, I really want to have sex with you.”

My eyes fly open and I catch the smirk on his face at my surprise. I toss a throw pillow at him and he uses it to cover his eyes right before he falls asleep.

We’re awakened to Christian’s happy squeals. “Joel! Joel! You’re here! Mom look, Joel’s here.”

“Sh– crap,” I exclaim as I try and catch Christian before he hops onto Joel. I don’t succeed, but Joel just laughs as my son jumps on his chest.

“Easy, Joel’s not feeling very well.”

Christian goes quiet for a beat and his sweet face gets serious. “Is that why you couldn’t have pizza with us?”

“Uhh, no. That was my fault, buddy.”

Joel shakes his head as I try and explain, the smallest movement like he doesn’t want Christian to see. “I just had to do a few things first. Sorry, I missed it, little man.”

“We brought the pizza home to eat in bed. Mom’s letting me sleep with her tonight.”

“Well aren’t you a lucky guy,” Joel says and grins at me over Christian’s head.

“Come see my room.” Christian pulls at Joel’s hand and he stands and follows my son across the apartment to his room.

I stand and take the coffee mugs to the sink and rinse them. I can hear Christian pointing out every single item in his room with pride and my heart squeezes at Joel’s patience. Joel makes me want things I have no business wanting from him, but I’m not doing any favors to Christian by keeping people out of his life in the off chance they’ll let us down either.

“Mom, can Joel stay for pizza and a movie?”

Joel stays quiet as Christian pleads with big brown eyes.

“Sure he can. Do you feel up to it?” I ask, unable to look him in the eye.

“I’d love to.”

“I’m gonna bring all my stuffies into your room, Mom,” Christian says as he runs back toward his room.

Joel comes around the counter. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

“Are you? An hour ago I thought you were passed out for the night.”

He rubs a hand over his scruffy jaw and around to the back of his neck. “Yeah. Think I might need another cup of coffee or two, though.”

“That I can do.”

“Now, can you answer a very important question?” I lift the pizza box out of the fridge. “Cold or hot?”

“Cold.” He takes the box and I grab plates and napkins and lead him to my bedroom.

“I’m gonna grab the coffee,” I say as I place everything on the end of the bed.

“Not so fast.” He grabs my hand and draws me to him. “Are we good?”

As if I could stay mad at him, but I do need him to understand that there are rules for being around Christian. “Yes, but no more showing up drunk.”