Pulling out my phone I see I’ve already got a text from Blair.

Blair: Christian ran circles around us. You’re my hero.

She’s attached a photo and I laugh as I see her and Wes looking exhausted and disheveled and a sweet, sleeping Christian passed out on the bed. I run my finger over the screen wanting that. I want to be with Christian and I want someone that will be by my side exhausted every night but able to laugh and love every second of it because it’s all worth it.

“Hey.” Joel’s voice grabs my attention. He walks hesitantly toward me, hands in his pockets. “Everything okay?”

I hold the phone out. “He’s asleep.”

He smiles down at the photo and then steps to me and rests a hand at my hip. His phone beeps and he pulls it out, not letting go of me. His grin gets bigger and he turns his phone toward me. I read the text exchange from Joel’s phone.

Joel: All good?

Wes: Yep.

So much more concise than the novel of questions I was about to shoot off to Blair. Everything is fine.

“You checked up on him?” I’m touched he thought to do it.

He shrugs it off. “I knew it was important that you know he’s okay.”

I let out a long breath and hopefully some of my anxiety. Christian is fine. I’m a mess, but that’s of my own doing.

“Want to tell me why you really ran out here?”

My eyes widen in surprise and he chuckles lightly.

“Come on, Kitty. I know you better than you think I do.”

Inhaling through my nose and letting out another deep, cleansing breath, I decide to go for honesty. “I think this was a mistake.”

His grip on my hip tightens possessively.

“I thought I could be okay with this and we could have fun and I could live in the moment and all that.” I sneak a glance up at him. “Yolo, like you said.” I chuckle softly. “But I can’t be one of those girls that you take out for dinner and drinks to make her feel special and wanted right before you move on to the next.”

“What girls?” His tone is hard.

I motion toward the restaurant behind us. “Like Maria.”

He steps closer until we’re chest to chest which is how I feel his shake before his laugh cuts through the silence.

I stiffen.

“Maria is my cousin Lucas’s wife. They own the restaurant and are very, very happily married.”

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Well, sh– crap.

His fingers lift my chin and I meet his eyes with a sheepish grin. “I like this jealous side of you, though.”

“I’m not jealous,” I say, realizing I am and knowing the tone in my voice is proof of that.

He laughs again. “You totally are. Don’t worry, though, I like it. It’s the first time I’ve gotten a glimpse at how you’re really feeling. You do a good job of keeping everything locked up in here.” His hand moves to my chest and he taps it lightly.