“Wait, what? When?” That doesn’t sound like Joel. Or well, it does, actually, but I’m still surprised.

“That day at your apartment. Before he left, he told me to tell you goodbye and that you wouldn’t ask for help, but you needed it.”

I cringe because Victor and I are finally talking, and I don’t want this to stir things up before we’ve barely made progress.

“He was right. I mean I was pissed at first which is why I didn’t mention it before, but I thought about it, then got the same talk from my mom, so I figured he probably wasn’t talking out his ass.”

I laugh awkwardly, and he joins in.

“I’m sorry,” I say, though I’m not sure exactly what I’m apologizing for – for letting it get to a point where other people needed to step in? I should have been the one to talk to him about it.

“No, I am.” He plays with the tab of his beer can, pushing it to one side and then the other. “I’m sorry I left. When Christian was born, it felt like you guys didn’t need me. Even when he was here, Mom mostly doted on him. She took over and I let her. Then as he got older, I barely knew him. Didn’t know what he liked or needed, and he sensed that.”

We’re quiet and I can’t think of what to say. I didn’t know any of this. Hadn’t asked – always assumed it was purely selfishness that kept him away.

“Christian is a good kid,” I say and we both look to our son who has lost interest in the game and is rolling the small Valley basketball Joel got him around the basement. “You both just need more time together. He’s getting that now and I think it’s been good for him.”

“Yeah, he is a good kid. I can’t take any credit for that. It was all you. Thank you for that and about a million other things.”

Maybe that’s all I needed to hear – the acknowledgment that I’ve done well and that he’s noticed because all the lingering resentment I’ve held on to from the past three years disappears with that statement. I’m hopeful that this really will be a fresh start for all of us.

“Also, for what it’s worth, I think you should give the guy a real chance. He’s definitely got Christian’s seal of approval.”

“What do you mean a real chance?”

Victor grins. “Don’t write him off at the first screw up. You seem like you’ve already made up his mind for him.” He holds his hands up defensively as I open my mouth to protest. Joel made his mind and feelings very clear. “Look, I know I have like no room to talk when it comes to self-development, but your tendency is to close off, bite your tongue, and stew in silence. That and my lack of balls is the reason this is the first time we’ve had a real conversation in three years.”