I didn’t turn around to look back. Didn’t look anymore at the scorched ground, the sleeping people who would soon wake up to the drought. The drought and the flames they had fled from, but which had now caught up with them.

I moved slowly, with my backpack on my back and Lou in my arms. All of this was too much to carry, too heavy, but at the same time, too light.

I stopped from time to time, but never sat down. Just stood there, motionless, breathing, waiting, and then continued walking when I felt I was up to it.

I stopped at every farm we passed, put Lou down in the shade, and searched. Found food in a couple of places, but water in only one place, in an almost empty tank. I filled up some battered plastic bottles and put them in the knapsack. My load grew even heavier, but I could take it.

Lou awoke from time to time. She didn’t say anything, blinked, but never focused her gaze on me.

The boat was waiting for us, in the middle of the canal, safe and sound in its cradle. The ladder was leaning against the stern, as if it were wishing us welcome.

We can stay here, I thought. We can boil the muddy water at the bottom of the water tank. It must be drinkable if we boil and filter it.

We can stay here, Lou and I. We can play. We can play so much, play so hard that everything else disappears. I can play like that. It’s perhaps the only thing I know how to do.

I put Lou down on the ground by the boat and shook her gently. “Lou? Lou—you have to wake up, I can’t carry you up.”

Finally she came around. Got to her feet and waited, swaying. I put my arms around her. I wanted to hug it away, the entire night, the flames, Francis, who had carried her out.

But she didn’t return my hug, she was completely stiff. Finally I released her. She continued to stand in the same position, staring at me.

“We must go to the camp,” she said.

I didn’t answer. She was thinking of August, of Anna. Of how they maybe would come.

“We have to go back now,” she said.

“Are you thirsty? I have water. Here.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

“We will find Mommy and August,” I said. “We just have to rest a little. Stay here for a little while.”

“No.”

“Do you want to sleep some more? You can sleep in the boat.”

“We have to see how the others are doing.”

“The others?”