I sit there looking at the X I’ve drawn on the nautical map: there’s the boat, there I am.

And now I understand where the wind has taken me, that in the course of the storm it changed directions, came from the north. And it has helped me, carried me south. I’m already at the same latitude as Flekkefjord. Thank you, wind, thank you, ocean, thank you, weather. Again I can raise the sail, I can move on, set my course for the English Channel.

Chapter Eighteen: David

Chapter Eighteen

David

Lou chewed and swallowed. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

She chewed quickly and swallowed even more quickly. Couldn’t get enough. We were sitting in the mess hall. For the first time she was strong enough to accompany me here. She woke up bright and early because she was hungry, and we had made it here before the rush. The tables and benches around us were still empty and the temperature was tolerable.

“Is there any more?” she asked when the dish was empty.

She’d had most of my bread too.

“I’ll go ask,” I said.

Even though I knew this was all we would get.

At that moment Francis came over. He must have heard our conversation, because now he handed her another piece of bread and sat down with us.

“Thank you,” I said, because Lou was too busy eating.

“Come on, let’s go,” I said when she was finally finished.

“Where?”

“To the Red Cross.”

She stretched out her feet in front of her, looked at them and not at me. “I don’t need to.”

“Yes. You need to. We haven’t been there in four days.”

“But there’s a line.”

“She can stay with me,” Francis said.

“Yes, I can,” Lou said. “I can stay with Francis.”

“No,” I said. “You have to come with me. Imagine if they’ve arrived.”

“They haven’t,” Lou said. “You heard what the lady said. They’ll let us know if Mommy comes.”

“We’re going now,” I said.

“No,” she said, lifting her head. She stared at me, eyes shining. She was really well again. I had nothing to offer in response to that no.

So I went. Alone. Angry and pleased at the same time.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was alone, just walking like this, without holding Lou’s hand. I opened and closed my fingers. I was able to breathe again. She was fine. I had managed it. Taken care of her, brought her through the crisis. Without Anna.

Without Anna. My heart started pounding even harder.

Today, today they’ve learned something, today they’ve made contact. Found them. Today Jeanette will have good news.

But when I entered the barracks, it wasn’t Jeanette who was seated behind the desk. It was a man I’d never seen before.

He didn’t even look up.