‘That’s not a very PC thing to say. You could be cancelled for less. And anyway, gay, straight or pansexual, he’s anything but normal,’ said Achilles. ‘Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he really did fancy the ghost. Anything’s possible.’

Beverley shook her head, looking annoyed now. The last time she’d been this offended was the afternoon two summers previously when she’d been denied access to the royal box at Wimbledon due to the presence of what she referred to as ‘parvenu duchesses and their families, hogging all the best seats’.

‘I didn’t realize she was taking advantage of her position to infiltrate my family,’ she continued now, shaking her head. ‘An appropriate line needs to be drawn between an employer and the help. No offence, dear,’ she added, turning to her ghost. ‘I don’t mind you eating with us. You have impeccable table manners.’

‘None taken,’ said the ghost. ‘I don’t consider myself the help anyway. I think of myself as a professional being paid to do a job.’

‘Of course, it was easier in the olden days,’ continued Beverley, ignoring this unexpected burst of Bolshevism. ‘The staff were sequestered underground. Like the latrines. And the rest of us were gathered above stairs, engaged in improving conversation and whist.’

‘What is whist?’ asked Achilles.

‘It’s a card game. You’ve never played a rubber of whist?’

He stared at his mother. ‘I genuinely feel as if you’re speaking a foreign language to me right now,’ he said.

‘Never mind. My point is that a person instinctively knew where he or she belonged and they stayed there without ambition or complaint. I’m sure Nelson would have grown tired of her soon enough anyway. Was he terribly sad when the lion ate her?’

Achilles offered a half-smile. ‘Well, yes,’ he said. ‘I mean, he wasn’t thrilled.’

Jeremy Arlo

Love to. How’s the rest of your week looking?

‘I can’t believe he never mentioned any of this to me,’ said Beverley. ‘Or, as far as I know, to your father. Are you sure you’re not making all this up?’

‘Why would I do that?’ he asked.

‘Well, I don’t know, do I? But you have a history of making things up just to cause trouble.’

‘Rubbish!’

‘You’re an incorrigible liar,’ said Beverley. ‘But I do love you so. And when it comes to Nelson, if this is in fact true, then I would hate to think that he’s grieving and is unable to talk about it. I mean, these things happen, don’t they? People get eaten by lions, one is sorry for them, but there we are.’

‘Quite,’ said Achilles, reaching for the black pepper. ‘That’s the wonderful thing about my mother,’ he added, turning to the ghost. ‘She has a very tender heart. Overflowing with sympathy and compassion for all.’

‘Thank you, dear,’ said Beverley, patting his hand. ‘That’s very kind of you to say. It’s true that I do feel more than most people. Perhaps that’s why I’m a writer. I have great empathy.’