‘And this is where Nelson came in,’ said Shane.

‘Yes, I was one of those on the case and—’

‘Wouldn’t that be a matter for detectives? Not everyday constables?’

‘They were short-staffed. They asked for me.’

‘Seems odd.’

‘And I started to notice a pattern and realized that John Robie couldn’t possibly have been The Cat because—’

‘Hold on, hold on,’ said Susan, shaking her head. ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the plot of To Catch a Thief?’

‘What’s that?’ asked Shane.

‘The Hitchcock film. Cary Grant and Grace Kelly.’ She thought about it for a moment, then whipped out her phone once again. ‘It is the plot of To Catch a Thief!’ she said triumphantly, turning the screen to show her brother. ‘Cary Grant plays John Robie, The Cat. Only he doesn’t come to London in the movie. He stays in France. None of this actually happened, did it?’ she asked, looking at Nelson. ‘You’re making it up. What kind of game are you playing here?’

Shane turned to look at Nelson, who wished that the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but before he could say anything in reply, the two men on the opposite side of the room were at it once again, only this time they’d risen from their chairs and were starting to push each other.

‘Good Lord,’ said Susan, looking over. ‘They’re really going for it.’

The waitress marched over, but when she tried to separate them, one of the men pushed her and she fell backwards on to the floor, upsetting a trolley of water jugs and glasses. People jumped up and backed away, afraid of getting involved, and as the young woman pulled herself to her feet, she looked over at Nelson with a pleading expression on her face.

‘Do something!’ she shouted as the men continued brawling.

‘What can I do?’ he asked, uncertain why she was appealing to him. ‘You need to call the police!’

‘You are the police!’

‘Oh yes,’ he said, remembering. ‘Quite right.’

‘Go on, then,’ said Susan, pushing him by the elbow. ‘They’re going to destroy the place.’

Nelson turned to Shane, hoping that he would order him to stay back until help arrived, but his boyfriend looked as if he was terribly excited about what was about to take place.

‘You’d better break it up,’ he said. ‘Do it, Nelson! Go on!’

‘Yes,’ said Nelson. ‘All right, then.’

He stepped forward, feeling a mixture of anxiety and fear in every bone of his body as he approached them.

‘Stop that now,’ he ordered in what he hoped was an authoritative voice. ‘Come on now, gentlemen, that’s enough fighting for today!’

The two men stopped for a moment and stared at him, before returning to their quarrel. The taller of the pair punched the other in the face, sending him crashing over another diner’s shepherd’s pie and into the wall beyond. The shorter man didn’t stay down for long, though, and was back on his feet quickly, ready to fight on.