‘What a bunch of absolute fuckers,’ he said, taking his handkerchief from his pocket and trying to remove the egg detritus from his clothing. The yolk proved impervious to his efforts, leaving a yellow stain along his shirt. ‘I try to be polite and understanding, and this is what I get for my troubles. We should keep a set of fire hoses down here and turn them on people like that. What gives them the right?’

‘The law,’ said Samir. ‘The right to protest peacefully.’

‘You call that peaceful?’ snapped George. ‘They’re about as peaceful as a recently divorced couple taking a holiday together in the Gaza Strip. Can’t we call the police?’

‘I don’t recommend it, sir,’ said Samir. ‘The best thing is to allow them to let off steam, get their photos and videos for social media, and then they usually disperse. They probably think you’ll be in the building for the rest of the day anyway, so they won’t wait around for no reason.’

‘And why wouldn’t I be here for the rest of the day?’ asked George, frowning. ‘Do you know something I don’t know?’

‘Only that you’re in a great deal of trouble.’

‘Well, the dogs on the street know that. So, thanks for the insight.’

Samir gritted his teeth. ‘There’s no need to take out your frustrations on me, Mr Cleverley,’ he said. ‘I’m simply trying to help.’

George nodded. ‘You’re quite right,’ he said. ‘I apologize, Samir. None of this is your fault. It’s just been an incredibly stressful week, that’s all.’

‘George.’

A voice from his left made him turn around, and his heart sank as a woman appeared from the waiting area and made her way slowly towards him.

‘Oh, Jesus wept,’ he said, pressing his hand to his forehead. ‘Who the hell let her in?’

‘She said she was your sister,’ said Samir. ‘And that she’d come to offer her support.’

‘She’s not my bloody sister,’ snapped George. ‘My sister lives in Los Angeles with a woman old enough to be her mother and she hasn’t spoken to me in years due to a misunderstanding entirely unrelated to my current troubles.’

‘I can ask her to leave, if you like,’ said Samir.

‘No, it’s fine. She’s a … a friend. Thank you, Samir. If you could just give us a moment.’

The security guard nodded and made his way back outside, where the crowds had put down their banners and were taking selfies with a remarkably friendly Gordon Brown, who had shown up to pre-record an episode of Celebrity Mastermind.

‘Angela,’ said George, smiling broadly as he greeted his visitor.

‘You’ve been ignoring my text messages,’ she replied.

‘Not deliberately,’ he said. ‘Responding has been on my to-do list, along with saving my job and trying to stop my daughter from contracting leprosy.’

‘We have to talk,’ said Angela. ‘This baby isn’t going away.’

‘Of course we do,’ he said. ‘Now, I’ve forgotten, how far along are you now?’