She wanted to capture every little detail in her head, for this was the last trip of her life. It had a spiritual rhythm. A couple of hours passed, the clean crisp air washed away the tiredness and anxiety of the near future. Sunny day, blue sky and occassional white clouds. The European guys stopped now and then to take pictures and capture on their cameras whatever they could. It was just the four of them and a stray dog that trotted beside them through the trek who had decided to accompany them mid way. A little further ahead they could see locals and some men in military uniform building a wooden bridge. Out of breath, they sat by the stream on a warm boulder as Danny passed some snacks around, oily and fried, but very welcome. The yellow flowers swayed in the breeze, lulling the senses and that was when it hit Rajjo yet again. She was very close to her destination and little further away Devi awaited her, with a ready pyre.

The landscape was breathtaking as they trudged on, a backdrop of well-defined snow-capped peaks. The Beas River meandered through on either side of the road. They crossed an old temple nestled on a little hill surrounded by pine and deodars. Rajjo bowed her head in reverance as the bus neared its next stop. Her heart sang like a bird. She had almost reached her resting place.

12

12

UPASANA had been waiting for this day forever. Her satin robe whispered around her ankles. He was ready to make love. He was ready to have a child. He was ready to come back home to her. Icy cold fingers clasped her heart time and again. Her instinct whispered sharply, make this count. She was determined to get his seed in her womb this time.

Her body bathed in the soft yellow hue from the lamp above, naked and hungry. She stood facing Harsh. He was fully clothed. He stood staring with a detached passion. Upasana knew it was a man’s reaction to a naked body. He was not seeing her. The cold fingers and the voice screamed again – it does not matter. She had to move past this question, she had to have him inside her. He discarded his clothes in an automatic manner, like he would do before stepping into a hurried shower. She shut her eyes and mind to all these thoughts. The urgency of the cold fingers and the voice claimed her.

She turned her back to him, as he grabbed her from the waist, penetrating her from behind. Upasana let her chest fall completely forward, holding herself on a lower stand like a chair, low table or cushions. ‘This position allows the sperm to better access the cervix.’ A gravelly voice popped up in her head and she tried to block it out. It was a roughened voice of the cold fingers. It belonged to an old lady.